Electric Monkey Pants

There has rarely been any bipartisanship in Congress for the last several years, but when it comes to defending a scumbag, bribe-accepting piece of shit like William Jefferson, congressional criminals of both parties came together to defend his right to piss on the Constitution while enriching himself illegally.

In a rare display of concern for a member of the opposition party, Republican congressional leaders on Tuesday rose to the defense of a Democratic congressman under investigation on bribery allegations, accusing the Justice Department of improperly searching his Capitol Hill office.

“In getting a search warrant to raid an office in a separate branch of the government–it has never happened in the history of our country,” Boehner told reporters. He predicted the matter would end up across the street at the Supreme Court.

They’ve never searched a Congresscritter’s office before. And they think the American people are gonna give a shit about this? Tell ya what, Boehner: You want my support? Here’s what I support: I think the FBI should raid every single congressperson’s office without a warrant or any just cause. Why? Well, why don’t we ask you and the Bush administration why you decided the NSA should spy on every single American’s private phone calls without a warrant or any just cause.

You want my support for your privacy, Boehner/Hastert/Jefferson? Fuck You. Fuck you for stealing my privacy. Fuck you for destroying the Constitution for short-term political gain. How ’bout you guarantee Americans their privacy and then we can talk. Until then, I hope the FBI raids every single fucking one of you.

Do I sound bitter? Well, then maybe you should look out for the rights of all Americans next time (not just the right of the Bush cabal to do whatever the fuck it wants!) like you swore to do, and you won’t be in this situation. After all, when you attack my rights, you are simultaneously attacking your rights. Or were you too stupid and greedy to figure that out?

The “culture of corruption” seems to have enveloped both parties. There’s probably no hope for America, folks. The system is rigged. Because of redistricting, the major parties have strangled the support any minor parties might’ve had, and pretty much guaranteed that the incumbents of both parties will be reelected. Did you know that House incumbents successfully retain their seat 98% of the time? Whether or not our elections are rigged is not up for debate. Gerrymandering is now seen “just the way things are.”

With gerrymandering rampant, corruption at all levels, big money dominance, and possible election fraud, the concerned citizen is left to conclude: WE ARE FUCKED.

It’s time for another revolution.