Category : Cheney

The Office of Vice President Dick Cheney told an agency within the National Archives that for purposes of securing classified information, the Vice President’s office is not an ‘entity within the executive branch’ according to a letter released Thursday by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. [/digg]

See? This is why Dick needs hookers (and hooker disposal services) — being the master of a super-governmental agency, floating above the executive, legislative and judicial branches is tough work.

Hookers. Dick needs hookers.

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, today I would like to introduce a bill for consideration by The Congress of the United States of America. Please join me in supporting this critical piece of legislation.

In the rough and tumble world of politics a man needs a chance to unwind at the end of the day so he can face tomorrow refreshed and ready to go. This is especially important when that man is engaged in the stressful task of starting wars and silencing enemies. Isn’t it time to give back to the man who has taken so very much? I hope you’ll join me in lobbying Congress to pass The Dick Cheney Hooker Disposal Act of 2007.

Full text of this important bill:

110th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. R. 6660

To amend the Department of Hookers and Cheap Cigars Department Act of 1914, and for other purposes.

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

June 18, 2007


A BILL

To amend the Department of Hookers and Cheap Cigars Department Act of 1914, and for other purposes.

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the The Dick Cheney Hooker Disposal Act of 2007″.

SEC. 2. It shall be resolved forthwith that—

(a) Any prostitutes the Vice President of the United States of America, His Honor Richard B. Cheney wishes to dispose of shall have duly deposited into the account relating to her post-use period via her microchip implant a credit of not less than 8,000 U.S. dollars and not more than 1 million ($1,000,000) U.S. dollars, plus free shipping in Wyoming.

(b) Definitions- For purposes of this section—

(1) The term “prostitute” shall be defined as “a woman who for whatever reason has sex with Dick Cheney and is not his wife” and shall be used throughout this bill.

(2) The term “hooker” shall have identical meaning herein.

(3) The term “pimp” shall refer to the business associate of a hooker

(c) All prostitutes shall be supplied by Madam Palfrey or a duly appointed representative (or “Pimp”).

SEC. 3. Hooker disposal in accordance with Hooker Disbursement and Collection Agency (HDCA) rules and regulations

(a) All prostitutes must be disposed of in a method befitting the secreting of all evidence of prostitute fucking and killing from the general public. Since they never read these bills, they’ll never fucking know. Therefore, all prostitute remains must be remanded to the control of the Chief Deputy of the Hooker Disbursement and Collection Agency (HDCA) or his duly appointed representative.

(b) It is resolved that hooker remains must be deposited into—

(1) The cement foundation of new buildings or

(2) Blended with molten steal

(c) So as to ensure no evidence will be found of the Department of Hookers and Cheap Cigars Department Act of 1914, and all subsequent legislation, including this Act.

(d) Furthermore, it is resolved that Dick Cheney’s hooker disposal is hereby given utmost priority over other hooker disposal requirements, including

(1) The President’s (POTUS) Playboy Bunnys Get Fucked Department and related activities, known as Section 69-G, and

(2) all other hooker disposal priorities.

SEC. 4. It is further resolved that funding for this act shall—

(a) Be acquired by secretly re-routing funds appropriated to the Faking Unsolicited Concern for Kids, Orphans, Females and Freedom (FUCKOFF) Act of 1969 and

(b) From the Central Intelligence Agency’s (C.I.A.) Secret Slush Fund for Hookers and Blow.


You may be wondering if I’m serious. You’re damn right I’m serious.

We live in an age of unprecedented government corruption and corporate malfeasance and few people seem to care. The point of this admittedly cynical satire to make people think. In my wildest wet dream this bill would be introduced and even debated on the floor of House of Representatives. I don’t expect them to pass it; shit, I’d be the first to say they should vote against it.

Getting the bill passed is not the point. I’d just like to see a member of the House introduce it to make a point about how incredibly corrupt and evil our government has become. There are so many secret or just oft-ignored parts of the government all running around doing god-knows-what with the trillions of dollars the taxpayers have given them, it’s hard to imagine the government is even aware of what its doing.

Like an octopus with a million tentacles a few must inevitably be up to no good. A few errant tentacles I can accept but when a man like Dick Cheney take
s control of the Octopus’ cranium and controls it so effectively I begin to wonder if maybe corruption is the plan. Cheney’s deft control of the war machine revealed that corruption is not the exception; it’s the norm. And if he’s ordered a prostitute or two? Well, maybe reality is more corrupt and decrepit than my darkest nightmares.

Please, join me in supporting a bill that you don’t really support. It’s a crazy choice for crazy times.

Ten Ways Dick Cheney Can Kill You


Just a friendly reminder.

… I’d actually be more worried about #11 — invades your country and lets his private mercenary armies rape, pillage and kill indiscriminately.

A tiny reason, if you need one:

California has threatened to sue the feds for blocking efforts to raise fuel efficiency standards. The Bush administration is accused of leaning on EPA and colluding with automakers in order to strangle California’s attempt to get rid of their huge fucking smog problem.

Dear Bushie: Thanks for the fucking help.

Ah, joy. The Bush administration … which, not that long ago, was proclaiming their love for the environment… and some fucking stupid people out there actually seemed to believe them!! Get some eyes, people, and put them in your head. The adminstration says one thing and does another: do you need a goddamn map to a clue?!

Sorry, I’m just frustrated that we haven’t impeached the fucking fratboy clown and his evil puppetmaster, Cheney, yet. What the fucking are we waiting for? A fucking sign from heaven that these assholes are up to no good?! The writings on the fucking wall, man. Some people just too blind to see.

But seriously… what the fuck are we waiting for? … for Dick Cheney to reveal that he eats skewered eight year old girls for breakfast every morning?!! …. We’ve already guessed that!!!!

We’re beyond the, “Oh my goodness… the Bush adminstration seems to have violated a few teensy laws, and maybe launched **oopsies!** a war that looks based on fraudulant reasons… Leapin’ Lords to Betsy! He might be… (gasp!)… a liar…. even a… a… villain!” phase, aren’t we? If somebody reading this just realized, YESTERDAY, that Bush is an asshole and a liar and a warmonger and a phony, then I would like to be the first to welcome you to planet Earth. Welcome. How was your stay in Lollypop Land?

So why aren’t we impeaching the fucker yet? Gary Kamiya at Salon takes a stab at it. You might not like what he finds…

But there’s a deeper reason why the popular impeachment movement has never taken off — and it has to do not with Bush but with the American people. Bush’s warmongering spoke to something deep in our national psyche. The emotional force behind America’s support for the Iraq war, the molten core of an angry, resentful patriotism, is still too hot for Congress, the media and even many Americans who oppose the war, to confront directly. It’s a national myth. It’s John Wayne. To impeach Bush would force us to directly confront our national core of violent self-righteousness — come to terms with it, understand it and reject it. And we’re not ready to do that.

If he’s right then we’d better come to grips with our problem — quick. We don’t have much time. We’re spiraling more each day into a the war-like fascist society the Bushies so desperately want to create. They are programming us for war, for service and fealty, for unquestioning belief in their essential decency. We don’t want to dig too deep lest the knowledge prove too painful, right? Just sit back and watch some TV, citizen.

How many of you are prepared to go all the way?

How far down into the abyss are you willing to go? … What if you’re already in the abyss but you believe you’re in a happier place, fresh like a green field in the summer. Instead of putting a fragrant purple flower to your nose you’ve actually got a tentacle of media infusion jammed down your throat and you’re wallowing in a slimy, dark, nightmare pit of fear and frenzy. You’re Neo in the Matrix. Once you take that red pill there’s no going back.

You can’t really see the world the same way again. Once you wake up you’re simultaneously horrified and relieved, somehow. Knowing the truth is not as hard as some make it seem. But looking back at your actions may scare you more than anything. Looking back at the zombie, so deluded, believing what they’re saying… What would you have done had you not become aware?

People are at different levels of awareness. Some people scoff when somebody brings up the Bush family’s Nazi-associated past. … Others see a pattern.

I urge you not to think of World War II as some distant, bronzed history which was most defintely a one-time deal, and which exists outside the normal flow of time as an idealized war faught against a horrific, satanic demigod. Far from being the exception, Hitler is the norm. Many world leaders are megalomaniacs. It can happen here. It has.

When you look at the similarities, its clear the neocons belong in the same camp as the Nazis. Calling them Nazis is not some cheap smear or baseless insult. It’s God’s honest truth.

As we awake to the potential of the world — the grand potential of a post-impeachment world — let’s not be afraid of the darkness that lurks within. The horrible truth should not be denied. It must be embraced despite its terrible core.

May whatever deity you believe in grant you the strength to look into the gaping maw of refined, practiced and fully self-aware… evil.
( atheists should invest in some adult diapers )

Dick Cheney involved with Hookergate?

Wayne Madsen is reporting that Dick Cheney is a possible client of the DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s “escort service” — which translates in my mind as “high-priced hookers.”

The individual, who is definitely “newsworthy,” reportedly engaged the services of Palfrey’s escort firm while he was the CEO and maintained a residence off Chain Bridge Road in the Ballantrae neighborhood in McLean, Virginia, a few blocks from the headquarters of the CIA.”

WMR has confirmed with extremely knowledgeable CIA and Pentagon sources that the former CEO who is on Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s list is Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney was CEO of Halliburton during the time of his liaisons with the Pamela Martin & Associates escort firm. Palfrey’s phone invoices extend back to 1996 and include calls to and from Cheney.

Madsen’s confirmation appears to rest partially on the fact that Cheney had a residence in the Ballantrae neighborhood. I have independently confirmed that Cheney did in fact have a house in that neighborhood starting in 2000.

For example, on Jan. 12, 2000, Vice President Richard B. Cheney bought a property for $1.35 million on Chain Bridge Road, one of the top-end streets in McLean — one of the richest parts of Fairfax County, which is one of the richest counties in the United States.

Watch the corporate media bury this story at the bottom of the Potomac.

5-23-07 UPDATE: The story gets weirder. Palfrey’s lawyer has issued a non-non-confirmation leading Roll Call writer Emily Heil to say that “Cheney isn’t not on the list.” What that means is unclear, but I’ll keep an eye on this story. Wayne Madsen, for his part, stands by his reporting and has a new update with additional details on how the 20/20 story was killed by Disney-owned ABC execs, apparently under pressure from the White House.

Like I said, we need blow jobs to sink the Bush administration. Apparently starting a war on false premises is A-OK with the American public. Sex is a different story.

The Culture is Not Coarse Enough

I hear a lot of people on both sides of the ideological aisle complaining about the “coarsening of our culture” or some similar trash. Fuck that shit; our culture is not coarse enough. People are too hung up on manners and social norms. Sure, it’s nice to have polite people around, but it’s also nice to have people who tell it like it is. And somebody needs to inform our “culture” that we should be fucking rioting.

Is there a nice way to say we should take to the streets and burn shit? ‘Cause I’d like to say it in polite company and watch them jump into the moshpit of the streets with a torch and an axe. It’s time to say “enough of this shit!” and tell The Man to fuck off. The Man in this case is the evil Bush Reich, a collection of fascists, zealots, traitors, liars, thieves and hypocritical scum-sucking whores to power.

Why should we give the Bush regime the courtesy they’ve never given us? It’s time to stop playing nice. Do you wanna know what should really happen? Bush is a mass murderer who should not only be impeached, he should be sent over to Iraq for trial, where he will be executed like Saddam. It’s only fitting. And Cheney? Shit, we should play a game with his fate. I say we play the Most Dangerous Game with his ass. We should send him out in the woods, naked, with a 30 minute headstart on the homeless people with shotguns who will be hunting him like a pheasant. Whomever bags Cheney gets his mansion. Seems fair to me.

Fuck being nice anymore. I say the culture is not coarse enough. Let’s let these assholes know they can’t get away with their lies, obstruction and misdirection anymore.

The two biggest criminals in this country are both implicated in the Plame affair. As Scooter Libby’s trial progresses and things look worse and worse for Cheney’s ex-right-hand-man his defense team is casting blame in every direction… including toward “the top.”

Last week, Libby’s attorney Theodore Wells made a stunning pronouncement during opening statements of Libby’s trial. He claimed that the White House had made Libby a scapegoat for the leak to protect Karl Rove – Bush’s political adviser and “right-hand man.”“Mr. Libby, you will learn, went to the vice president of the United States and met with the vice president in private. Mr. Libby said to the vice president, ‘I think the White House … is trying to set me up. People in the White House want me to be a scapegoat,'” said Wells.

Cheney’s notes seem to help bolster Wells’s defense strategy. Libby’s defense team first discussed the notes – written by Cheney in September 2003 for White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan – during opening statements last week. Wells said Cheney had written “not going to protect one staffer and sacrifice the guy that was asked to stick his head in the meat grinder because of incompetence of others”: a reference to Libby being asked to deal with the media and vociferously rebut Wilson’s allegations that the Bush administration knowingly “twisted” intelligence to win support for the war in Iraq.

However, when Cheney wrote the notes, he had originally written “this Pres.” instead of “that was.

The “meat grinder” is generally taken to mean “the DC press corps”. So, after re-inserting “this Pres” into Cheney’s note it reads: “not going to protect one staffer and sacrifice the guy this Pres. asked to stick his head in the meat grinder because of the incompetence of others.”

It’s not surprising that strategy concerning the Plame affair would be discussed at the highest levels. But Bush has been denying all along that he knew anything about the leak.

When Cheney testifies will he throw Libby under the bus like Addington? I can’t wait to find out. What happens when the top two liars in the country are implicated in a scandal, tied to an illegal war that’s been used to justify illegal wiretapping? Well, if Republicans are in charge: Nothing. However, I have a smidgen of hope that the Democrats will pursue impeachment. They’d better hurry up about it because I keep hearing more and more noise about starting a war with Iran. It sounds like the preparations for a joint U.S./Israeli strike are almost complete.

The neocons push closer to war with Iran, as shown by the blunt comments made by El Presidente Cheney in Newsweek:

He repeated the Bush administration’s stance that the United States seeks to resolve the dispute over Iran’s nuclear program through diplomatic means, but that all options are on the table.

“I think most of the nations in that part of the world believe their security is supported, if you will, by the United States. They want us to have a major presence there,” Cheney said in an interview with Newsweek magazine, according to a transcript released by the White House on Sunday.

“When we — as the president did, for example, recently — deploy another aircraft carrier task force to the Gulf, that sends a very strong signal to everybody in the region that the United States is here to stay, that we clearly have significant capabilities, and that we are working with friends and allies as well as the international organizations to deal with the Iranian threat,” Cheney said.

Allow me to translate in case Captain Cheney’s comments were too subtle: “Iran, you best watch THE FUCK out, ya heard? We’re comin’ for your shit, so you might as well run now, bitches. Represent, sluts!!! We gonna fucks you up!”

The above is an official translation.

Cheney proceeded to whip out his dick and let the fucker smash on a table with a menacing thud:

Responding to other comments — including criticism from Brent Scowcroft, and others who have worked with Cheney in the past — he says, “Well, I’m vice president and they’re not.”

Yeah, you’re a big man, Dick. The whole article sounds like one big “fuck you” to everyone who’s ever criticized him… which means: just about everybody. I’m sooo glad he isn’t even bothering to hide his megalomaniacal tendencies or paranoid hatred of all who disagree with him. It’s refreshing.

Now, is anyone planning to remove Bush/Cheney from power soon? I dunno, like maybe the Democrats? They sure don’t seem to be moving very fast. They’d better hurry the hell up ’cause from the sound of things we’re gonna be having a blood kegger in Tehran by the end of the year. I’m sure Persian blood may not taste as sweet as Arab blood, but Cheney will still do a fucking kegstand on their country unless we get him the fuck out of office.

The neoconservatives like to point to “appeasement” by the UK during Hitler’s rise to power in order to justify their invasion of Iraq. I think we should use Chamberlain’s appeasement to justify removing Cheney from power before it’s too late. Appeasement of fascists is never a good idea. Cheney, as a fascist, should know.

According to Kiplinger’s, the Cheneys, who may be worth close to $100 million, have invested the vast majority of their wealth overseas, in markets that do not fluctuate based on the U.S. dollar. Cheney’s money is not in a blind trust.

read more | digg story

[/digg]

From Digg, as an FYI.

Here I am betting on a good economy and Cheney (the supposed patriot) is putting all his money in safe European investments?! What does he know that we don’t?

And that’s about the best thing I can say about him.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the alleged plans to bring down 11 or 12 airplanes flying from Britain to the U.S., using liquid explosives. Well, I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy it. I’m a cynical bastard, perhaps, but I think this whole story is full of shit. It stinks to high heaven.

Cheney, meanwhile, is standing up for his buddy, Joe “Loser” Lieberman. This is what he had to say, shortly after learning of the supposed terror attack plans:

Vice President Dick Cheney said on Wednesday that one thing he found disturbing about the defeat of Sen. Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut Democratic primary on Tuesday was that “our adversaries in this conflict, the al Qaeda types, clearly are betting on the proposition that ultimately they can break the will of the American people.” (Cheney made the comments after he was briefed on the suspected terror plot, according to a senior administration official.)

What the fuck is he talking about? Did he just basically call the voters who chose Ned Lamont “al Qaeda types”? Or is he saying that “Lamont is the al Qeada candidate“? Either way, that’s basically slander. Not to mention stupid.

I don’t know if Cheney is aware that 60% of Americans polled recently said that we should begin troop withdrawals by the end of the year, but that the type of thing he should be aware of. So are 60% of Americans traitors? According to Cheney, yes.

You know, the neocons are always very quick to accuse anyone who disagrees with them of being a traitor. But we have a saying where I come from that goes, “Whoever smelt it, dealt it.” Referring to farting, of course (this isn’t the fucking NY Times). And I think that, crude as it is, it’s often very correct. It is the neocons who are the traitors.

We are engaged in a war for the very soul of our great nation. These are dangerous times, and if we don’t choose our fate wisely we will end up being ruled by a small cadre of psychotic fascists who use terror to achieve their political and financial goals. The neocons are evil, and somehow they’ve taken over our country. We have to get it back.

This story is but one small example of the lengths that the neocons will go to in order to hold onto their ill-gotten power. They will slander over half the nation, imply that anyone who disagrees with them is a “far-left extremist traitor” and cynically exploit terror threats to usurp more federal power.

We would not be in this situation if the media was doing it’s job. This blog probably would not exist if the media was reliable and aggressive in its pursuit of truth. But it’s not. The mainstream media has failed us again and again. They are failing us again today by not questioning the government’s claims more aggressively.

Don’t believe everything the government says. The government is utterly controlled by the evil neocons. It’s time people wake up to that fact and vote accordingly.

Oh man, this is good stuff:

The CIA officer whose identity was leaked to reporters sued Vice President Dick Cheney, his former top aide and presidential adviser Karl Rove on Thursday, accusing them and other White House officials of conspiring to destroy her career.

In a lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court, Valerie Plame and her husband, Joseph Wilson, a former U.S. ambassador, accused Cheney, Rove and I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby of revealing Plame’s CIA identity in seeking revenge against Wilson for criticizing the Bush administration’s motives in Iraq.

This is great news. I think it’s clear that Dick started this whole fiasco, so it’s fitting that he would be sued for it. Will this be a civil suit? I would imagine so, but I’m not sure. If so that would mean she could really only nail him for cash, but it certainly would provide some negative PR for the Bush administration.

Nail the hypocritical fuckers. They’re always complaining about leaks — except when they’re the ones doing the leaking.

Dick Cheney should be Indicted

I just finished watching the PBS Frontline documentary called The Dark Side, which focuses on Cheney’s role in manipulating intelligence to get us to declare war on Iraq. Cheney used intimidation and subtle applications of shadowy force to get his way.

From stories of Iraq buying yellowcake uranium from Niger to claims that 9/11 hijacker Mohamed Atta had met with an Iraqi agent in Prague, “The Dark Side” dissects the now-familiar assertions that led the nation to war. The program also receounts [sic] the vice president’s unprecedented visits to the CIA, where he questioned mid-level analysts on their conclusions. CIA officers who were there at the time say the message was clear: Cheney wanted evidence that Iraq was a threat.

At the center of the administration’s case for war was a classified October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate that found evidence of an Iraqi weapons of mass destruction program. But Paul Pillar, one of the report’s principal authors, now admits to FRONTLINE that the NIE was written quickly in a highly politicized environment, one in which the decision to go to war had already been made. Pillar also reveals that he regrets participating in writing a subsequent public “white paper” on Iraqi WMD. “What was the purpose of it? The purpose was to strengthen the case for going to war with the American public. Is it proper for the intelligence community to publish papers for that purpose? I don’t think so, and I regret having had a role in it,” Pillar says.

Dick Cheney should be charged with violating his oath of office, impeached and removed from office. Thereafter he should be indicted for crimes against humanity in both international and national courts and — if the evidence truly supports it — convicted and sentenced to prison. I’m sure we can find some other crimes to charge him with as well, but that’s the tip of the iceberg. There probably is no crime that really fits what he did. We’ll have to create one and name it after him.