Archive for December, 2006

You’ve heard about global warming, massive ecological damage to the planet, blah blah blah… HURRY UP!!! Where’s the fucking death and destruction I’ve been waiting for? Not here, and that’s the problem.

I don’t think I need to go over the basics of global warming, environmental destruction, nuclear weapons, overpopulation, terrorism, Peak Oil, the neocons being in charge or the end of the Mayan calender in late 2012. You know about that shit, right? We’re living in an apocalyptic age. So here’s my question: Where the fuck is the apocalypse already?!!! I’m getting tired of waiting.

We all know it’s coming. It’s like the crappy twist ending to an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Everybody knows it’s a fucking alien or whatever. But this is like the Shyamalan movie that keeps going on and on and on and on and on and the fucking cheesy twist gimmick hasn’t showed up yet. Hell, you guessed what the twist will be about 3 hours ago, but the movie is stilllll going!! What the FUCK?!! Will the world just end already? Jeeze!

I want to see our wretched over-consuming, ultra-militarized American society collapse under its own weight. I want to see the fat and the weak die in the streets! Where’s the fucking blood, man?! I’m sick of our horrifically obese (physically, financially, politically) nation beating the living shit out of brown people in various parts of the world. When’s our turn?! You know it’s coming. The laws of karma demand it.

We deserve to burn for Iraq. We should all go to hell for letting this bullshit war continue. We deserve to die, like we’ve condemned the Iraqis to die. And the worst part is we continue to LIE to them and tell them we’ve liberated them! Jesus fucking Christ people, at least have the courtesy to tell them the truth while we’re raping their country of it’s precious natural resources! You’re gonna tell me all the goddamn flag-waving hicks who support this war ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK about Iraqis?!!!! I will laugh in your ignorant face, you fucking gullible tool.

Our government is composed of the most evil, wicked and soulless men alive. Our government, along with the military-industrial complex, killed 3,000 people on September 11th, 2001 in order to trick us into going to war. And what has our reaction to this fascist take-over been?

“Ooohh, let’s see if Lost is on! The revolution can wait until after Survivor is over! Oh wait, I just want to read a retarded fashion magazine! I can’t wait until the new Wii is released! I’m a delusional fucking idiot who doesn’t know anything about politics! Let’s just let the country careen into a fucking ditch the size of the Grand Canyon! Who gives a fuck as long as I’ve got my botox, designer jeans, video games, reality TV, SUV, 401k, and a lot of other useless crap that makes me feel good for about 2 seconds so I can forget that my government is a satanic collective of Nazis bent on taking over the world’s resources while simultaneously lowering the world’s population through war, starvation and man-made diseases!”

Fuck all of you selfish fucks! And fuck me too for not having the balls to light myself on fire and run into the capitol building with a bomb strapped to my chest. Fuck all of us. We deserve to die. We are killing the planet with every piece of food we eat (fuck all of you self-righteous vegans for thinking you’re not guilty of the same thing! Plant flesh is just as sacred as animal flesh!). We kill it every time we drive a car, every time we turn on a fucking light, and every time we knock down a tree so we can build a goddamn strip mall with a 27 muthafucking acre parking lot!!!

Humanity is a fucking virus, and we’re killing the host. It’s time to die people.

DIE DIE DIE!!!!

When the next American civil war comes (and it will come — soon), it will be my honor to kill each and every last one of you fucking traitors who supports the war in Iraq and the Bush regime that perpetrated 9/11.

I suppose a lot of you are still in denial about 9/11. Understandable. Not everyone is a structural engineer. But there’s no more excuses. We have the power of the internet and people are still ignorant. I don’t think you need any help from me. Open Google and start researching. It’s only the future of our entire fucking country at stake, so please don’t complain about me calling you a useless traitor piece of shit if you decide to watch The Biggest Loser instead.

To some extent we are all absolved by the fact that this world was totally fucked up long before any of us were born. However, the time of excuses is running out rapidly. With the power of the internet at your fingertips you have NO EXCUSE for being an ignoramus anymore.

Do you think America is “teh koolest-est cuntree evar!!”? Then you are a fucking idiot. America has fallen. America is now the world leader in corruption, evil, terrorism, hatred and intolerance. The CIA is the premier terrorist organization in the world. They fucking own al-Qaeda — literally. The CIA started al-Qaeda during the 80’s to fight against the Soviets in Afghanistan. They are still being funded and controlled by the CIA. So fuck all of you shitheads who tell me I’m not patriotic enough. I love America — the REAL America, not the “Amerika” it has become (rather like evil Superman). We haven’t used the Constitution for anything except for toilet paper in almost 100 years. America is fallen. Amerika is now the Empire from Star Wars, and Dick Cheney is its Emperor.

Amerika is a place where you can get arrested for smoking a joint or wearing a T-shirt that says “Peace” on it, but if you’re the president you can send thousands of troops to die and kill in a foreign land based on lies and distorted intelligence and nobody can do shit about it. And half the people think it’s just fucking great. Amerika committed genocide while it was being born (ask the Native Americans about that one) but then it turns around and claims Saddam is evil for killing his own people… with WMDs that we gave him! (well, “sold to him” — Amerika is all about $$$$$). What the fuck are we supposed to make of this hypocrisy?!

And don’t get me started on all the fucking greedy businessmen who are so obsessed with money that they don’t give a second thought to destroying the environment if it helps the bottom line. The only thought that goes through their fat, ugly heads is: “How can I make sure I don’
t get caught?” Amerika drains the lifeblood from the earth, like a vampire. We are all a party to this wicked devil-dance. If you dance to their tune, you’re just as guilty as they are. Are you willing to bet your soul that George Bush is right? Do really fucking believe he gives a damn about the welfare of everyday Iraqis? Do you really believe businessmen when they say, “trust me, I care deeply about the environment and our workers’ safety and happiness.” Sucker. They don’t give a fuck. It’s all about PR. Just lie to the cameras and everything will be okay.

Politicians on both sides of the aisle lie. That’s all there is to it. Neither side can be trusted. And if there is someone in power who dares to speak the truth he will be ruthlessly co-opted or assassinated, post-haste. We’ve lost 2 Kennedys, MLK, John Lennon and Paul Wellstone to the machinations of the elite. The elite, by the way, are a sick bunch indeed. They are engaged in drug smuggling, terrorism, arms dealing, child abduction and molestation, torture, murder, satan-worship and God knows what else.

I’m not really saying I wish we all die tomorrow. I mostly just wish the global elite would. But since the reverse is more likely to happen, maybe I shouldn’t pin all my hopes on our coming destruction. But it doesn’t really matter what I think, does it? Oil will peak. The economy will crash. The environment will shed its parasites. Our government will collapse (every government eventually does). The only question is when? And what are we going to do about it?

Well, I for one, will be glad. Not because I like not being able to eat, drink, work, drive a car or turn on a light. That part will suck. No, I will enjoy it because there will be so much less ignorance and hubris in the world. I’m so fucking sick of the arrogance and suicidal stupidity of most Amerikans, and pretty much all of western civilization for that matter.

There’s an not-so-old saying the Middle East (ya know, the place we’re presently occupying, destroying, raping and terrorizing) that goes like this:

My father rode a camel. I drive a car. My son flies in a jet plane.

His son will ride a camel.

Ya know, maybe the internet doesn’t make you smart. Those people didn’t need it to come up with that revelation, and here we are in Amerika with a quarter billion morons surfing the web. Maybe we will be smarter once we have nothing. Maybe the world will be a better place once we’re no longer in it.

Ah, I love little squabbles like this. They are such “teachable moments.” Not sure what they teach, exactly, except that Christian video games are pretty goofy.

Liberal and progressive Christian groups say a new computer game in which players must either convert or kill non-Christians is the wrong gift to give this holiday season and that Wal-Mart, a major video game retailer, should yank it off its shelves.

The Campaign to Defend the Constitution and the Christian Alliance for Progress, two online political groups, plan to demand today that Wal-Mart dump Left Behind: Eternal Forces, a PC game inspired by a series of Christian novels that are hugely popular, especially with teens.

The game has been getting abysmal reviews from gamers, but not because of the “convert or die” storyline (gamers are used to slaughtering electrons). It’s because the game has committed the worst sin: it is shitty quality and not fun to play.

Nobody has enough faith to endure a game with such a hokey story, terrible mission design, serious problems with the interface and graphics, and loads of crippling bugs.

Slashdot has additional discussion on the merits of the game and whether it should be pulled from shelves. Personally, do I think it should be pulled or banned? Hell no. Just because a game sucks doesn’t mean we should yank it. Yes, it’s intolerant, but as the GameSpot review makes clear, the game drops into self-parody at several points. I say let people make up their own minds.

The stupidest part about this game, IMO, is how rock musicians are portrayed. Maybe that’s because I’m a rock musician, but I think it’s so fucking lame that rock musicians are a sort of default bad guy. If this is how the Christian fundamentalists perceive us is it any wonder that we think they’re a bunch of intolerant dumbfucks?

Perhaps even more stupid (because it’s not as goofy and laughable) is how Muslims are portrayed in the game as followers of the Antichrist or neutral folks to be converted (or killed if they resist).

Players can choose to join the Antichrist’s team, but of course they can never win on Carpathia’s side. The enemy team includes fictional rock stars and folks with Muslim-sounding names, while the righteous include gospel singers, missionaries, healers and medics. Every character comes with a life story.

When asked about the Arab and Muslim-sounding names, Frichner said the game does not endorse prejudice. But “Muslims are not believers in Jesus Christ” — and thus can’t be on Christ’s side in the game.

“That is so obvious,” he said.

Oh really, Mr. Frichner? I guess he’s been too busy drinking the kool-aid (or “blood of Christ” in this case) to notice that Muslims recognize Jesus as a great prophet, teacher and holy man. They may not agree with the batshit notion that Jesus = God, but most rational people believe the same. (Jesus called himself “the Son of Man” not “I am God!!! Worship me, bitches!!”)

I wonder if Mr. Frichner would be interested to know how highly venerated Jesus is in the Qur’an/Koran?

Jesus is described as one who is min al-muqarrabin (among the nearest to God) and as min al-salihin (of the upright) and as wajih (eminent) [Surah 3:40-46]. Baidhawi amplifies this, saying that Jesus is illustrious in this world as a Prophet and in the next as an intercessor (Hughes, Dictionary of Islam, p.229.) Following the Qur’anic presentation of Jesus, he is known among Muslims as Kalimatullah (the word of God), and Ruh Allah (the spirit of God) [Surah 3:45; Surah 4:171]. No other prophets have been described in such terms. No other prophet nor Muhammad has ever been called the spirit of God.

Instead of fostering dialogue between religions Frichner is spouting ignorance and contributing to the baseless Christian hatred and persecution of Muslims, a people whose religion is actually founded on the tenets of Christianity. In essence, this game is a monument to the stupidity and intolerance of the religious right. Leave it on the shelves.

Senator Tim Johnson of South Dakota is at George Washington University Hospital in critical condition. He was initially thought to be suffering from a stroke, but now it’s not clear what he’s suffering from.

Johnson is a Democrat, which means that if he dies the control of the Senate reverts back to the Republicans. This is because the governor of South Dakota is a Republican and he can appoint whomever he wishes to serve out Johnson’s term. The Senate would then be tied 50-50 with VP Cheney as the tie-breaking vote.

Now, I’m not saying that the CIA and the neo-cons are responsible for this…. all I’m saying is check him for polonium-210.

This is a good rant

I know a good rant, and this is a good rant.

To be fair, I didn’t totally agree with everything (like the “respect has to be earned part”) but it was a good spleen-venting evisceration of stupid and selfish people who act rude because they think that people in the service industry are their servants.

This is an awesome (if incoherent) rant, too. And this one is a hilarious “x-mas letter” to the folks. Ah, there’s nothing better than being forced into prostitution by the continual, humiliating economic grind of life in the city. Unless, of course, that city happens to be Ipswich.

This isn’t a problem at this low-ranked blog, but apparently it is for Dean Hunt, owner of DeanHunt.com and the blog that resides there. He has recently received vaguely threatening letters demanding that he give up his domain because:

You have to understand Dean that an online business should be higher in Google than a blog.

Don’t forget that Google is a business as well, they obviously make more money from other businesses than they do from blogs, so it is in their interest that I am higher than you for certain searches.

I have also contacted my lawyer about this issue, so you should expect a letter in the post very soon.

Let me be the 472nd to say, “AAAAAhahahahahahaaaaaaa!!! Haahahahaa! What a fucking moron!

Yes, Google is a business, but no, they don’t think businesses should be ranked higher than blogs. In fact, I bet they love it when that happens because then the business is compelled to start buying Google AdWords to bump up their ranking (well, really, they’re a “sponsored result” at that point).

This guy (who hasn’t been “outed” yet by Deano) is clearly a bully, and a particularly stupid one at that. Dean intends to stand strong and I support him all the way. People shouldn’t have to fear success on the internet, nor should bloggers be preyed upon by ruthlessly inept businessmen who seem to view the world only in terms of money and power. Fucking moron. I’ve got your back, Dean, and I know a lot of other bloggers do too.

You know, the internet really does have the power to change things for the better. We’re more connected now than ever before, and that gives power to “the little guy” who would’ve been steamrolled as little as 10 years ago. This inevitably must have a profound affect on our society, including the political realm. People are going to start demanding more transparency in government and business, and people are less likely to be cowed by bullying demands from the elite and those who dream of becoming the elite (like this fucktard).

Consequently, there are no more excuses. Is there something you don’t know that you wish you did? Have you encountered a challenge that is beyond your present abilities? Well, it’s time to step up to the plate. You’ve got an incredible resource like at your fingertips if you’re reading this, so don’t let limitations that would’ve previously been crippling get in your way! You now have the power to change your lot in life. Educate yourself. Better yourself. Rally your allies. Stand up to your enemies. Embrace the change that now must come. In previous centuries most of us would be nothing but peasants, living under the rule of some despotic king or lord. With no access to learning, no power to organize resistance or communicate with distant allies there was no way to fight against the yoke of oppression. But now, most of us are “free” and we have been given a great gift — a gift that our ancestors would have died for. The internet is the greatest gift to democracy in 200 years. Use it!

Update: Some folks on slashdot are saying that this is a hoax by Dean Hunt. That’s certainly a possibility. Let’s wait to see for sure that he’s telling the truth, but I think my rosy description of the potential of the internet is still valid. Just gotta remember to check our sources, verify info and don’t forget our assumptions. As for Dean, let’s hope he wouldn’t resort to something like this, but his blog is about SEO, which is about as respectable a profession as prostitution. Perhaps less so.

Donald Rumsfeld flew to Iraq today, with only a few days left in office. He “bid the troops farewell” and tried to shore up the neocon war effort in Iraq, warning of the consequences of failure. Indeed, this war is Rumsfeld’s legacy, and he wants to see it won. Too bad he fucked it up so badly, every step of the way. His only true legacy will be American humiliation.

And we should be ashamed, for propping up men like General Pinochet, ex-Dictator of Chile and friend of evil, who said goodbye in his own way, by kicking the bucket. It’s worth noting he took power on September 11th, 1973. How fitting. The linked article above glides past CIA responsibility for Pinochet’s coup, but everyone knows Washington wanted Allende out of the picture. They admit as much. I wonder what Rumsfeld was up to in the summer of 1973…

Ah Rummy & Pinochet! What a couple! …

See ya, boys. …

You won’t be missed.

They make it so easy to hate them. The RIAA is trying to screw artists even harder, even as it steps ups its anti-consumer lawsuit campaign. The Recording Industry Association of America has always claimed that they are defending artists when they sue consumers (nevermind that few recording artists seem to be all that keen on suing their fans), but now it’s clear that the only thing driving their insane lawsuit campaign is what most of us long suspected: Greed.

Watch the RIAA make their case for lower royalties by complaining about a changing business landscape (that they have failed to adapt to, unlike the publishers):

During the period when piracy was devastating the record industry, the RIAA argues, profits for publishers rose as revenue generated from ringtones and other innovative services grew. Record industry executives said there was nothing strange about seeking a rate change that would pay less to the people who write the music. “Mechanical royalties currently are out of whack with historical and international rates,” RIAA executive vp and general counsel Steven Marks said. “We hope the judges will restore the proper balance by reducing the rate and moving to a more flexible percentage rate structure so that record companies can continue to create the sound recordings that drive revenues for music publishers.”

Oh, so since you RIAA guys fucked up and sued your customers and failed to bring out a quality digital music store until Apple did it for you, that means you deserve a better deal from music publishers/songwriters? How the fuck does that add up? This is a capitalist system, fuckheads. Survive or perish.

I should also mention that the RIAA represents the evil record companies who insist on paying lower royalties to musicians for downloaded music — including taking a cut for “breakage” in shipping. Newsflash, dudes: If your MP3s are “breaking” you’ve got some serious fucking problems with your distribution model.

The RIAA is pleading with the government for help, but I doubt they’ll be able to push people around as easily since the publishing companies have their own teams of lawyers (most of whom aren’t tied up suing fans — although they do sue lyric sites and tab sites). Let’s hope the publishers string the RIAA up by the balls and demand higher royalty rates.

The RIAA is almost as bad for rock ‘n’ roll as MTV. I hope they all burn in hell.

On the plus side, there are some innovative new ideas out there for musicians and music fans to bypass the RIAA. Check out SellaBand.com for a cool new business model.

A young McDonald’s employee humiliated, forced to strip and then to perform a sexual act in the back office, during her work day.

This is one fucked up story. I’m not going to try and regurgitate it since I won’t do it justice. Just check it out and try not to think of Milgram’s experiment concerning obediance to authority.

Update 10.2.07: The poor (obedient) girl has managed to swing a 6 million dollar payday out of this episode. I guess she won’t have to work at McDonald’s anymore.

Fat Sixth Grader Tasered at School

You know those parties named “Everybody Gets Laid!” or something similar? Well, the police should throw a party called “Everybody Gets Tasered!” It would apparently be really popular.

School officials confirm that an 11-year-old, 6th grade male was tasered by a school resource officer. They say the boy was physically assaulting a female 6th grader and refused to listen to verbal commands to stop. As a last resort the officer tasered the boy twice – once to get the students separated and a second time when the boy tried to attack the girl again.

The male student was taken to juvenile detention – the female was treated by emergency personnel and released to her parents.

The male 6th grader sounds like a real dick. But do we really need to taser kids? You’re telling me this “school resource officer” couldn’t physically restrain a 11 year old? What the hell is a “school resource officer” anyway? Apparently one of the resources is tasers!

I don’t like the increasing use of tasers by law enforcement personel. It strikes me as a cattleprod for humans. I can’t really think of anything more dehumanizing… though maybe that’s the point.

I really think we need a national discussion about tasers and how and when they are used. Things are really getting out of hand in this country and something needs to be done about it.

Update: Sounds like the 11 year old in question was 200 pounds!!! Holy fuck, fatty! Lay off the cheezy-poofs. Still, I don’t think we should be cool with tasering fat kids. Sounds like a bit of a double-standard. Also interesting is the fact that the police internal investigation took all of 20 hours.

Also, the fat kid started this shit by taking the 6th grade girl’s food and refusing to pay up. Oh man, fatty, you are really hitting every fat stereotype, aren’t you? Still, I don’t think he needed to be tasered, but I’m not going to lose too much sleep over this ravenous loon.

I guess this ties into our other national debate — are Americans too fat?

Yes. End of debate.