Neo-cons hang Saddam in retaliation for assassination of Gerald Ford
This just in from the Electric Monkey Pants Intergalactic News Network (EMPINN):
Washington insiders say that today's execution of former Iraqi dictactor Saddam Hussein was moved forward by neo-conservatives eager to punish the traitorous hippies for the alleged assassination of former President Gerald Ford.
Our sources indicate that the neocons, led by Dick Cheney, believe that a covert hippy assassination squad was responsible for the untimely death of Cheney's old boss, Gerald Ford. The prevailing theory is that a Greenpeace-trained eco-terrorist squad was responsible for the hit, citing Ford's love of meat as the main beef.
EMPINN correspondants report that most people on "the street" believe that a poisoned carton of applesauce was smuggled into the Ford residence and deployed remotely, via "secret hippy-powers."
A call to Hippy Headquarters in San Francisco reached the "main dude" of the Hippy Network who responded to the allegations forcefully, stating, "What?! Uh... man, that's fucked up. No way, dude; these people are on acid. Fuck them, dude."
Now insiders are indicating that the hanging of Saddam Hussein was, in part, a retaliation for the hippy hit on Ford. An anonymously dressed source maintains "it was payback for the Ford hit. Since, you know, hippies are in league with Saddam the Cheneyites figured that killing Saddam would sap them of their powers."
The vice president's office refused to comment, saying, "Dick doesn't have time to respond to every little rumor that his office leaks out. Besides, he's in a meeting with the Prince of Darkness and can't be interrupted."
This has been an Electric Monkey Pants Intergalactic News Network special report.
Washington insiders say that today's execution of former Iraqi dictactor Saddam Hussein was moved forward by neo-conservatives eager to punish the traitorous hippies for the alleged assassination of former President Gerald Ford.
Our sources indicate that the neocons, led by Dick Cheney, believe that a covert hippy assassination squad was responsible for the untimely death of Cheney's old boss, Gerald Ford. The prevailing theory is that a Greenpeace-trained eco-terrorist squad was responsible for the hit, citing Ford's love of meat as the main beef.
EMPINN correspondants report that most people on "the street" believe that a poisoned carton of applesauce was smuggled into the Ford residence and deployed remotely, via "secret hippy-powers."
A call to Hippy Headquarters in San Francisco reached the "main dude" of the Hippy Network who responded to the allegations forcefully, stating, "What?! Uh... man, that's fucked up. No way, dude; these people are on acid. Fuck them, dude."
Now insiders are indicating that the hanging of Saddam Hussein was, in part, a retaliation for the hippy hit on Ford. An anonymously dressed source maintains "it was payback for the Ford hit. Since, you know, hippies are in league with Saddam the Cheneyites figured that killing Saddam would sap them of their powers."
The vice president's office refused to comment, saying, "Dick doesn't have time to respond to every little rumor that his office leaks out. Besides, he's in a meeting with the Prince of Darkness and can't be interrupted."
This has been an Electric Monkey Pants Intergalactic News Network special report.
Labels: death, fascism, funny, neocons, satire, war
Like this post? Vote it up with these:
5 sick little monkeys said:
Uggs Boots on sale now.Classic cardy boots ugg is a special boot that makes you different from the other girls.And the Bailey Button UGGs is hot in 2009.If you want to get a warm shoe in cold winter,I think ugg classic tall boots is a good choice for you.
UGG Bailey Button bootsis a new style in 2009.The classic cardy uggs boots is another hot boots that worth of buying.And the classic tall ugg boots will make your winter amusing.And now uggs on sale,if you are looking for such a boot,the ugg boots is good choice this year.
S11204C2 To the ugg uk world you may be one person, but to ugg sale one person you may be the discount ugg boots world. Don't waste your bailey button boots time on a woman, who isn't willing to waste their ugg cardy sale time on you.Just because someone ugg classic tall doesn't love you the ugg classic tall sale way you want ugg nightfall sale them to, doesn't mean ugg rainier they don't love you with all ugg sundance sale they have.Don't try ugg ultra sale so hard, the bestugg lo pro button things come when you least expect them to.Maybe God wants us to meet a few ugg knightsbridge sale wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know ugg classic short how to be grateful.
S11214C2 Do you think I can stay timberland boots uk to become nothing to you ? Do you think I am a timberland boot automaton ? --a discount timberland boots machine without feelings ? and can bear classic timberland boots to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of kids timberland boots living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am timberland mens shoes poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think timberland 6 inch boots wrong!--I have as much timberland custom boots soul as you,--and full as much timberland roll top boots heart! And if God had timberland womens shoes gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of timberland hiking boots custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh.
S11217I2
Some children have extra timberland chukka boots needs because they're either less timberland waterproof boots suited to schoolroom teaching or they have timberland work boots more potential that could only be realized with special teaching. Private tutors fill this timberland custom boots gap in additional education. Many Timberland Men's Roll-Top teachers simply do not make enough from their day jobs. If they're good and can make more timberland high top boots money from private tutoring, why shouldn't they? If public schools can't afford good teachers, they should give them the choice of going private. http://www.officialtimberland.com/products_new.html
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
Home