Electric Monkey Pants

Say… you’re not feeling paranoid are you?

Feeling like somebody’s out to get you? Set you up?

Maybe you pissed off the wrong people. If you know anything about the Church of Scientology’s connections to the CIA maybe you should be afraid. They might want to freak you out.

Operation Freakout was a CoS plan designed to get journalist Paulette Cooper “incarcerated in a mental institution or jail.” The Scientologists drew up detailed plans for freaking her out, ruining her reputation and getting her arrested for bomb threats.

When she has been found alone, telephone ( during the work week ) 2 Arab Consulates in NYC, from telephone booth nearest PC’s place. Telephoner should be a girl that sounds like PC and the call should be fast,to the point, and impinge. It should go as follows: from a totally trusted non staff member.

“I just came back from Isreal ( pronounces the way it is pronounced in Isreal ) I’ve seen what you fucking bastards do. At least youre not going to kill my sister. I can get away with anything. I’m going to bomb you basterds. Say something in Jewish/swear or mumble something jewish.

While the spelling and grammar reveals their ignorance, their gall no doubt counted for a lot. Scientology put many of these crazy schemes into action and eventually got Cooper arrested.

Part of the plan consisted of a Scientology volunteer impersonating Cooper and making verbal threats towards the President and Henry Kissinger, and a second volunteer reporting them. Another named Jerry Levin moved into Cooper’s building and befriended her during her darkest months, and reported back to the Church such things as “She can’t sleep again…she’s talking suicide. Wouldn’t this be great for Scientology!”

Her crime? Writing a book critical of Scientology. Shades of Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake.

Beware of pissing off somebody with more resources than you. You might find your world turned upside down by people who can afford to play with you as if you were a mouse and they were bored housecats.

The American conceit that we’re all created equal is charming and amusing. In reality those born into the corridors of power need not worry about paying the rent or keeping food on the table… and that tends to free up time for certain impulses better left hidden.