Electric Monkey Pants

No, this isn’t about Iraq (but I did). Instead, it’s about Van Halen. I mentioned the impending reunion a few posts ago, if you remember. Well, like the poll results indicated, disaster was just waiting for a chance to spooge its awful justice in our collective faces.

Over the weekend, employees of tour promoters Live Nation were informed that “the Van Halen tour has been shut down.” It’s not yet clear what went wrong: Just last week, the band released their first official photo of their new line-up to Rolling Stone.

Well, there goes that. I guess Wolfgang will have to get a summer job instead. Welcome to showbiz, kid!

Anybody have any bets on what went wrong? I’m betting that David Lee Roth started some random beef with Eddie about Wolfie being in the band (he wanted to hire a rapper instead), or maybe Dave just demanded a separate touring bus that floats (he doesn’t like bumpy roads). Mr. Roth is not known for being gracious and accommodating. But he is known for great lines like this:

At the time, Roth told us that he was thrilled about the tour, and that the reunion could be permanent: “I have Hope and Faith – and that’s more than just the name of a couple of strippers from Albuquerque,” he said.

Those strippers would probably have less mental issues. Maybe the Van Halen family can hook up with them.