Electric Monkey Pants

Tony “Poodle” Blair has decided to pull out of Iraq. Sort of. Eventually.

This more of a big deal symbolically than realistically since Britain only had around 7,000 troops in country anyway (they had around 45,000 for the invasion — you know, “the fun part”).

Hopefully this will cause people in America to scratch their softboiled heads and wonder, “Well, uh, why are we still there? Is the U.K. safe from terrorism now?” You will recall, of course, that the UK/USA alliance was keen to fight the terrorists “over there” rather than “over here.” What changed? Was there some anti-terr’rist bust in Iraq that I missed? Did they somehow solve the terrorism problem in the UK? Oh, if only such a solution worked in the US too! Maybe they have perfected some sort of anti-terror aerosol spray. But then, that wouldn’t really fit with with the neocon MO, would it? Terror is their bread and butter. They need it to govern. Blair is only doing this because he knows his term is almost up. He obviously plans to declare victory and hope that the public just forgets about the whole thing. Will they forget all of the lies and manipulation and sexing-up of intelligence dossiers? Experience shows they might.

But that won’t be so simple in America. We’ve borne the brunt of this conquest (well, except for the Iraqis, but nobody counting them, right?), and Bush pulled out all the stops to sell this war. Now it looks like we’re all alone in this boondoggle.

I don’t mean to disparage Kazakhstan’s 29 troops. Or the 41 troops Estonia has over there. Truly, a fearsome fighting force. I quake in my boots just thinking about them. And Moldova’s troops, all 12 of them, are so incredibly powerful that I think it would be fine if we left them in charge and took our 132,000 troops back home to preside over the president’s trial for treason.

But we may have problems doing that since King George is the commander in chief. Still, Congress has certain powers, including the power of the purse strings. Cutting off funds for the war is a harsh and dangerous course…. but so is leaving the troops in Iraq indefinitely. It’s time to take a stand, people. If it’s a constitutional crisis Bush and neocons want, then that is what they’ll get. I think there are enough pissed off Democrats in the House and Senate to make this a very interesting fight. I suspect that much is being played out behind the scenes. The neocons know that it’s time for them to leave, but like a drunken and belligerent house guest they are steadfastly resisting all attempts at reason. More drastic actions may be required. (Fun way to get rid is a belligerent houseguest: Tell them their car has been towed. Hopefully they’ll be on the front lawn by the time they remember they took the bus. Use this time to lock the door and pull the shades)

I’m ready to take to the streets if necessary to compel the neocons from power. I know my shit don’t amount to much, but it’s all I got. I wish I could lend more to the struggle. I know there are some people, even in the ruling class, who have had enough of the neocons. I trust that they have a plan to remove them from power… but it sure is taking a long time. I don’t know what’s playing out behind the scenes, but I can’t imagine the neocons have many allies left. Regardless, it’s time to end this game. World conquest is not a good way to make friends.