Sherlock would know

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character, Sherlock Holmes, was found of saying,

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."

And now, I will quote a DK diary that pretty much says it all:

There have been several recommended diaries about the call by House Judiciary committee members Robert Wexler, Tammy Baldwin and Luis Gutierrez for the committee to actually begin hearings on the impeachment of Vice President Dick Cheney.

But don't you find it curious that there's been literally no traditional media coverage of it? Three Members of Congress, all on the Judiciary Committee, call outright for impeachment hearings, and no one reports it? [emphasis mine]

The three even wrote an op-ed together explaining their reasoning and offered it to the New York Times, the Washington Post, etc. No one has yet agreed to run it.

Isn't that interesting, in and of itself? I mean, say what you want about impeachment, but when three members of the Judiciary Committee sign on to a positive call for it, that's worth a little news blurb, don't you think?

You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure this out. The word "conspiracy" gets tossed around a lot these days, but only for mockery in the mainstream press. Now we know why.

The whole establishment is committed. Between 9/11, Iraq, warrantless wiretapping and torture, they're in this together. Big Media, Big Business and Big Brother are partners in this debacle; they sink or swim together.

There will be no help from the media on this one. We're on our own.

A general strike has been proposed for 9/11/07. No work, school or shopping

Endless War.
Hundreds of Thousands of Dead Iraqis.
Torture.
Surveillance.
Civil Rights and Habeas Corpus: Gone.
Executive Privilege: No Accountability.
9/11 Questions?

Corporate Media.
Corporate Government.

Tyranny. Fascism. Lies.

The Time Has Come.
To Say NO.
While We Still Have a Chance.

GENERAL STRIKE
Tuesday 9/11/07
No Work. No School. No Shopping.
Hit the Streets.

"Somebody should do something!!!"

That somebody should be you.

The Party of Torture

Ah, the GOP. They keep finding new ways to make themselves look like total assholes. During the Fox's American Idol-style Debate the candidates crawled over each other to be the boldest defender of the country after being given a totally hypothetical plot that was clearly stolen verbatim from the TV show 24. Of course, they were basically advocating torture.

You know what? I think that's great. The GOP is finally showing their true colors. At this rate, I won't be surprised if they quickly go from being the Torture Party to the Put-Muslims-On-Pikes Party. Perhaps they'll crucify them, like the Romans. Even the religious right wouldn't see the irony.

Ron Jeremy Confesses to Masterminding Sept. 11th Attacks with KSM

This is an Electric Monkey Pants Intergalactic News Network special report!

Porn-star Ron Jeremy has confessed to masterminding the attacks of September 11, 2001 along with his long-lost brother Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. "We did it," Ron Jeremy wrote in his confession, calling the mysterious collapse of the towers "the money shot."

Also confessing was Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (or "KSM" as he is known to lazy Americans). KSM had long eluded capture by the Americans by disguising himself as a grizzly bear. Later it was revealed that it wasn't a disguise; he is just really, really hairy. He twice escaped captivity by pretending to be a dog with rabies, but was recaptured while picking nits and lice out of his fur.

Calling themselves the Hairy Brothers of Destruction, Mr. Jeremy and KSM confessed to a long list of crimes against humanity.

Authorities also seized a hard drive containing details of several assassination plots (including attempts to kill the Pope, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter's gardener), and hundreds of gigs of midget porn, bestiality porn, and pictures of Ron Jeremy rubbing KSM with sandpaper in what appears to be an attempt at hair removal.

The deranged duo admitted to being tortured by federal agents, and hinted at Abu Ghraib-style torture involving being stacked in a pile of naked men and being led around on a leash. They also indicated that they kind of liked it.

While enjoying a breakfast of bacon and eggs the confessed masterminds of 9/11 assured their interrogators that they were devout Muslims and that their confession was not coerced: "Karl Rove didn't call me and ask for a confession in exchange for 30 Brazilian hookers. Nothing like that happened, at all" Mr. Jeremy assured his captors, who then fed the revelations to several unquestioning, servile reporters, including this one.

KSM supplied a type-written note that listed all of the crimes the duo is responsible for masterminding. The list includes:

• the bombing of U.S. Cole
• the decapitation of Daniel Pearl
• the planting of explosives that brought down WTC 7
• farting in the interrogation room -- twice
• the bombing of a nightclub in Bali, Indonesia
• jump-starting Paris Hilton's career
• the Democrats' strong showing in the November elections
• happy-slapping
• Abu-Ghraib (specifically: getting the Americans caught)
• Hurricane Katrina
• eye-boogers
• killing Anna Nicole Smith
  
• causing President Bush to appear stupid and clueless on TV
• the Hindenburg disaster
• pimples
• the estate tax
• the illusion of global warming (to scare hippies)
• the Oklahoma City bombing
• Watergate
• killing Jesus Christ (and Old Yeller)

Ron Jeremy supplied an identical list, but he crossed out "Paris Hilton" and wrote "virneeral dizees", then crossed that out and wrote "VD."

The above information was provided to reporters on the condition that we not mention Alberto Gonzales, the word "impeachment" or the many inconsistencies in the official 9/11 story for 3 weeks. Naturally, we agreed because we just repeat whatever they say anyway.

[ed.: wait... were we supposed to repeat that last part?... i'd better call karl. hold till then]

This has been an Electric Monkey Pants Intergalactic News Network special report!

I can't fucking wait until the world ends: We all deserve to die

You've heard about global warming, massive ecological damage to the planet, blah blah blah... HURRY UP!!! Where's the fucking death and destruction I've been waiting for? Not here, and that's the problem.

I don't think I need to go over the basics of global warming, environmental destruction, nuclear weapons, overpopulation, terrorism, Peak Oil, the neocons being in charge or the end of the Mayan calender in late 2012. You know about that shit, right? We're living in an apocalyptic age. So here's my question: Where the fuck is the apocalypse already?!!! I'm getting tired of waiting.

We all know it's coming. It's like the crappy twist ending to an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Everybody knows it's a fucking alien or whatever. But this is like the Shyamalan movie that keeps going on and on and on and on and on and the fucking cheesy twist gimmick hasn't showed up yet. Hell, you guessed what the twist will be about 3 hours ago, but the movie is stilllll going!! What the FUCK?!! Will the world just end already? Jeeze!

I want to see our wretched over-consuming, ultra-militarized American society collapse under its own weight. I want to see the fat and the weak die in the streets! Where's the fucking blood, man?! I'm sick of our horrifically obese (physically, financially, politically) nation beating the living shit out of brown people in various parts of the world. When's our turn?! You know it's coming. The laws of karma demand it.

We deserve to burn for Iraq. We should all go to hell for letting this bullshit war continue. We deserve to die, like we've condemned the Iraqis to die. And the worst part is we continue to LIE to them and tell them we've liberated them! Jesus fucking Christ people, at least have the courtesy to tell them the truth while we're raping their country of it's precious natural resources! You're gonna tell me all the goddamn flag-waving hicks who support this war ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK about Iraqis?!!!! I will laugh in your ignorant face, you fucking gullible tool.

Our government is composed of the most evil, wicked and soulless men alive. Our government, along with the military-industrial complex, killed 3,000 people on September 11th, 2001 in order to trick us into going to war. And what has our reaction to this fascist take-over been?

"Ooohh, let's see if Lost is on! The revolution can wait until after Survivor is over! Oh wait, I just want to read a retarded fashion magazine! I can't wait until the new Wii is released! I'm a delusional fucking idiot who doesn't know anything about politics! Let's just let the country careen into a fucking ditch the size of the Grand Canyon! Who gives a fuck as long as I've got my botox, designer jeans, video games, reality TV, SUV, 401k, and a lot of other useless crap that makes me feel good for about 2 seconds so I can forget that my government is a satanic collective of Nazis bent on taking over the world's resources while simultaneously lowering the world's population through war, starvation and man-made diseases!"

Fuck all of you selfish fucks! And fuck me too for not having the balls to light myself on fire and run into the capitol building with a bomb strapped to my chest. Fuck all of us. We deserve to die. We are killing the planet with every piece of food we eat (fuck all of you self-righteous vegans for thinking you're not guilty of the same thing! Plant flesh is just as sacred as animal flesh!). We kill it every time we drive a car, every time we turn on a fucking light, and every time we knock down a tree so we can build a goddamn strip mall with a 27 muthafucking acre parking lot!!!

Humanity is a fucking virus, and we're killing the host. It's time to die people.

DIE DIE DIE!!!!

When the next American civil war comes (and it will come -- soon), it will be my honor to kill each and every last one of you fucking traitors who supports the war in Iraq and the Bush regime that perpetrated 9/11.

I suppose a lot of you are still in denial about 9/11. Understandable. Not everyone is a structural engineer. But there's no more excuses. We have the power of the internet and people are still ignorant. I don't think you need any help from me. Open Google and start researching. It's only the future of our entire fucking country at stake, so please don't complain about me calling you a useless traitor piece of shit if you decide to watch The Biggest Loser instead.

To some extent we are all absolved by the fact that this world was totally fucked up long before any of us were born. However, the time of excuses is running out rapidly. With the power of the internet at your fingertips you have NO EXCUSE for being an ignoramus anymore.

Do you think America is "teh koolest-est cuntree evar!!"? Then you are a fucking idiot. America has fallen. America is now the world leader in corruption, evil, terrorism, hatred and intolerance. The CIA is the premier terrorist organization in the world. They fucking own al-Qaeda -- literally. The CIA started al-Qaeda during the 80's to fight against the Soviets in Afghanistan. They are still being funded and controlled by the CIA. So fuck all of you shitheads who tell me I'm not patriotic enough. I love America -- the REAL America, not the "Amerika" it has become (rather like evil Superman). We haven't used the Constitution for anything except for toilet paper in almost 100 years. America is fallen. Amerika is now the Empire from Star Wars, and Dick Cheney is its Emperor.

Amerika is a place where you can get arrested for smoking a joint or wearing a T-shirt that says "Peace" on it, but if you're the president you can send thousands of troops to die and kill in a foreign land based on lies and distorted intelligence and nobody can do shit about it. And half the people think it's just fucking great. Amerika committed genocide while it was being born (ask the Native Americans about that one) but then it turns around and claims Saddam is evil for killing his own people... with WMDs that we gave him! (well, "sold to him" -- Amerika is all about $$$$$). What the fuck are we supposed to make of this hypocrisy?!

And don't get me started on all the fucking greedy businessmen who are so obsessed with money that they don't give a second thought to destroying the environment if it helps the bottom line. The only thought that goes through their fat, ugly heads is: "How can I make sure I don't get caught?" Amerika drains the lifeblood from the earth, like a vampire. We are all a party to this wicked devil-dance. If you dance to their tune, you're just as guilty as they are. Are you willing to bet your soul that George Bush is right? Do really fucking believe he gives a damn about the welfare of everyday Iraqis? Do you really believe businessmen when they say, "trust me, I care deeply about the environment and our workers' safety and happiness." Sucker. They don't give a fuck. It's all about PR. Just lie to the cameras and everything will be okay.

Politicians on both sides of the aisle lie. That's all there is to it. Neither side can be trusted. And if there is someone in power who dares to speak the truth he will be ruthlessly co-opted or assassinated, post-haste. We've lost 2 Kennedys, MLK, John Lennon and Paul Wellstone to the machinations of the elite. The elite, by the way, are a sick bunch indeed. They are engaged in drug smuggling, terrorism, arms dealing, child abduction and molestation, torture, murder, satan-worship and God knows what else.

I'm not really saying I wish we all die tomorrow. I mostly just wish the global elite would. But since the reverse is more likely to happen, maybe I shouldn't pin all my hopes on our coming destruction. But it doesn't really matter what I think, does it? Oil will peak. The economy will crash. The environment will shed its parasites. Our government will collapse (every government eventually does). The only question is when? And what are we going to do about it?

Well, I for one, will be glad. Not because I like not being able to eat, drink, work, drive a car or turn on a light. That part will suck. No, I will enjoy it because there will be so much less ignorance and hubris in the world. I'm so fucking sick of the arrogance and suicidal stupidity of most Amerikans, and pretty much all of western civilization for that matter.

There's an not-so-old saying the Middle East (ya know, the place we're presently occupying, destroying, raping and terrorizing) that goes like this:

My father rode a camel. I drive a car. My son flies in a jet plane.

His son will ride a camel.

Ya know, maybe the internet doesn't make you smart. Those people didn't need it to come up with that revelation, and here we are in Amerika with a quarter billion morons surfing the web. Maybe we will be smarter once we have nothing. Maybe the world will be a better place once we're no longer in it.

Another secret spying program revealed!

Once again, it seems that the Bush Administration is using 9/11 to justify unwarranted intrusion into the private lives of Americans. This time, they're looking at our financial transactions:

Since late 2001, the government of the United States has been running a program that lets intelligence officials search the international banking transactions of thousands of Americans.

Run through the CIA and the U.S. Treasury Department, the program examined financial records from an international banking co-operative known as Swift, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and Los Angeles Times first reported in their online editions Thursday night.

Swift, or the Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication, is a Belgium-based service that routes millions of messages from 7,800 financial institutions in more than 200 countries.

Under the program, which was initiated shortly after the Sept. 11 attacks, U.S. intelligence officials could search Swift's database by entering names, said the New York Times report.

This is a huge coup for the Bushies. They love having access to all this information; it gives them more power and more control, and that's what this is all about: Control. They want to keep tabs on us and make sure we aren't doing anything they don't approve of. Whatever happened to getting a warrant first? Whatever happened to probable cause?

This will be abused. It's just a matter of time if it hasn't happened already. Power corrupts and the more the Bush clan chases after absolute power, the more corrupt they become. They had plenty of power to hunt down terrorists before 9/11, they just didn't use it. They were either asleep at the switch or they let it happen on purpose to bolster their foundering agenda. Bush was not considered a legitimate president by much of the nation on September 10th, 2001.

I swear, the more the Bush administration abuses the memory of 9/11 to gain more and more and more and more power for itself, the more I suspect that they were involved with the crime itself. How can they exploit 9/11 so shamelessly? Isn't it suspicious that they leapt into action so quickly after 9/11 in an attempt to use it to fulfill their wishlist of unconstitutional powers, all assigned to the executive branch? So far, we've got the Patriot Act, the NSA wiretapping scandal and now the data mining of financial records. Am I forgetting a couple? Probably. Regardless, we have to watch these guys, and we have to consider the horrible possibility that we were attacked on 9/11 not just by Osama bin Laden, but also by our own government. It's a horrifying thought, but knowing the Bush administration as I now do, I wouldn't put it past them. They've already dragged us into a war in Iraq that has cost the lives of (hundreds of?) thousands of people.

White House officials quickly defended the program, saying it fell under the president's emergency powers in his administration's war on terror.

Question: Is there anything that doesn't fall under the president's supposed emergency powers? Seems to me that George is busy making himself emperor. You realize that this is how Rome turned from a democracy into an empire, right? Even if Bush has the purest of intentions (he doesn't), this is a dangerous increase in his powers. Alberto Gonzalez basically told Congress that the president can do whatever he likes in a time of war. But that's not what the constitution says. And how does that fit in with the fact that the War on Terrorism is so open-ended that it could go on forever? Doesn't that result in a defacto dictatorship under Gonzalez's interpretation? And wasn't Gonzalez also arguing in favor of torture as a legitimate tool? How long before his administration starts using torture against political opponents? "Trust me," they say. Fuck that. I'd sooner trust the devil himself.

White House officials lobbied the newspapers not to publicize the story, arguing it could jeopardize its effectiveness, said the New York Times. The story first appeared on the websites of the three newspapers on Thursday night.

Bill Keller, the New York Times' executive editor, said the paper carefully considered the Bush administration's argument, but decided it was in the public's best interest to know.

No shit the White House would love to bury this story. Glad to see that they didn't succeed.

This is just one more example of the Bush administrations fascism. They look at Congress the same way a teenage girl looks at a zit in her mirror. It's something to be expunged, hidden, routed around, abused, hated, popped or outright destroyed. The Congress is the only thing standing between us and full blown dictatorship. Only problem is Congress is full of toadies and it's controlled by Republicans who are also, conveniently, fascists. Congress as a whole has an approval rating slightly above rugburn: 23%.

That's a mandate, if I've ever seen one; a mandate for change.

Will Congress act to challenge Bush's usurpation of power? Of course not. That's why we need to vote the bums out in November. But we've got to be mindful of the last couple elections and the fact that they were probably stolen. We cannot let them get away with that again. Do not let them call you a moonbat for insisting on fair elections. The polls clearly show that the people hate what the Republicans have done to the country. We must stand firm. And we can't let the Democrats chicken out as usual, the weak-ass bitches. Neither party stands for us, but we've got a better chance with the Democrats, who are too weak to stand up to... anybody, really. Which means DKos has a shot. I'm not a Democrat, but I wish him the best of luck and I hope he takes control of the party away from the Vichy Democrats who are currently suckling at GW's teat. Fuck party politics. Stand up for AMERICA!!

Hayden sworn in at CIA; Plans huge spying effort -- on Americans

This is not getting out of hand. It's way beyond that now. We are watching our rights, our privacy, our Constitution, our nation -- crumble before our very eyes. So this is what the death of democracy feels like. For me it feels like numb, helpless outrage. Are you ready for the latest outrage?

Here it is, from Capitol Hill Blue:

Now that he is officially sworn in as the new head of the Central Intelligence Agency, Gen. Michael Hayden plans to build a vast domestic spying network that will pry into the lives of most Americans around the clock.

President George W. Bush told Hayden to "take whatever steps necessary" to monitor Americans 24/7 by listening in on their phone calls, bugging their homes and offices, probing their private lives, snooping into their financial records and watching their travel habits.

Can I prove this in a court of law? No. Do I know it is happening? Yes, without a doubt. Enough sources within the CIA, FBI, NSA and Pentagon have come forward in recent days to warn about Hayden's plans for an expanded, consolidated spy network aimed at Americans, not terrorists, and violating numerous laws that prohibit such activities against citizens of this country.

"What Hayden plans to do is not only illegal, it is immoral," says a longtime CIA operative who may retire early rather than participate in what he sees as an illegal extension of the spy agency's activities.

The article goes on to mention that resignations are at an all-time high at The Agency. The reporter, Doug Thompson, wishes he could prove this to us. I guess we have to take his word for it for now. But would I be surpised if every word were true? Not one bit.

I wish I could prove this. I wish one, just one, source on the inside was willing to come forward and allow his or her name to be used but those who might be tempted see what happened to Mary McCarthy, the CIA employee fired and under threat of prosecution for leaking information about CIA torture camps in Europe.

But I know it is happening. People I've known for years and trust tell me it is happening and the past record of spying, lies and deceit by the Bush administration point to just such an operation.

This nation is under attack. We, the people, are under attack. And the enemy in this case is not an Islamic radical hiding in a cave in Afghanistan but a cabal of truly evil men and women at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and on Capitol Hill aided by carefully-picked, law-ignoring appointees at the Hoover Building on Pennsylvania Avenue, a black glass-walled building at Fort Meade, MD, and a complex in Langley, Virginia.

Not the normally sedate language we're used to reading in the press. But he's right. We are under attack. Let me say it again:

We Are Under Attack. By Our Own Government.