I wonder this every day around noon.

You see, I work in a fairly ritzy office building, but sometimes I start to hallucinate and think that I work at a hockey rink. Despite the fact that it is about 90 degrees outside at this very moment I am shivering cold. I have goosebumps and I’m rubbing myself for warmth. Hang on, before my fingers freeze off, let me put on a fleece pullover I keep in my office for this very reason.

Okay, that’s a bit better. But I’m still pissed off that I have wear winter clothing inside during the summer. Can somebody tell me who decided office buildings should be kept at refrigerator temperatures in summer? I would like to shove that person into a walk-in freezer and lock the door.

Confession time: I am a skinny person. I have a runner’s build (I had it before I started running) and I generally loathe the cold and winter. I’m shivering and uncomfortable all the time during the winter, and if I thought it would be reasonable, I’d crank the heat at my place to 80 degrees in January. However, the point is that I don’t! I put on extra layers of clothing and work out or play drums to keep warm and get the blood flowing. I understand some people hate the heat and think 82 degrees is unbearably warm, but at this point I don’t fucking care. I suffer all winter, why should I have to freeze all summer, too?! It doesn’t make any sense!

From a global warming perspective, the people who set the temp at 70 or 71 degrees in the summer are basically lighting our atmosphere on fire. Long-term, this obsession with air conditioning is totally counterproductive. You like it cool? Then don’t turn the damn AC on, because every time you do you burn more coal and spew more CO2 into the atmosphere. The carbon dioxide causes the planet’s temperature to rise.

Personally, I can go outside on a 90 degree day like today and feel totally comfortable as long as the humidity is not too high. The body naturally acclimates itself to the seasons, so my suggestion to set the thermostat at 80 or 82 degrees in the summer is not that crazy. If your body is sweating profusely at 80 degrees, the sad truth is that you’re probably too fat.

This is a touchy subject, so I’ll try to be kind, but I am getting fed up. It’s one thing to be fat on your own time, but when it starts affecting me that’s where I draw the line. If you are sweating like a pig while sitting in the office and using a mouse, it’s probably time to lose some weight.

Clearly, it doesn’t help matters that I sit all day and stare at a computer screen. I’m sure if I were doing hard physical labor the 72 degree air would be bliss. But if construction workers can construct buildings in this heat why can’t you sit on your ass, in the shade and deal with a temp of 80 degrees? I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, fellow office drones, but please let me know if I am.

Making matters worse, I swear the building temp is dropped a few degrees from 12 to 2 pm. Why? I think it’s to counteract the after-lunch sleepiness that afflicts many workers (but which is actually a sign of sleep deprivation — hell even the unemployed are sleep deprived in 2007). Gotta squeeze every last bit of productivity out of those serfs, right? Even if it’s at the expense of the environment and their health.

Humans are so fucking stupid it blows my mind. Our planet is going down like the Titanic and we’re not even re-arranging the deck chairs. In fact, we’re not doing anything. We’re sitting on our fat asses trying to figure out a way to get even more comfortable when it should be clear that we have only moments to live.

At this point, our dwindling time left on Earth is my only consolation.


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6 Responses to “It’s 90 degrees out, so why am I freezing cold?”

  1. fallout11 says:

    As a fellow cubicle dweller and once extremely skinny, athletic individual, I must point out the sad truth: Time is not kind to most.Just you wait until you are 35-40, young fella!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Odd. In all the offices in which I’ve worked, it’s the overweight, lazy folks, who don’t get any exercise complaining that it’s too cold in the office–they prefer 80 degrees plus, and don’t mind the sweat.I work out 5-6 days per week (that’s no exaggeration), and I hate sitting at a desk when it’s over 74. I guess I run on the hot side.Blech!

  3. Andrea says:

    I can totally relate to your post. One of the reasons I quit my last office job was because I was sick ‘n’ tired of freezing my ass off. I was not only physically uncomfortable, but the cold temps were also affecting me emotionally. I would dread going to work every day.

  4. Strider says:

    I freeze in the afternoons too! The worst part for me is my hands. I can put on a jacket, but my hands feel cold enough that they are stiff when I type.

  5. LeonieFat Dover says:

    I am obese (almost 150lbs) and I am so cold that when people are wearing T shirts and it’s in the 70’s, I am wearing a thick jumper and I still have goosebumps. I can’t enjoy summer because all the windows and doors are opened and the heating is turned off and I have to listen to everyone moaning and bragging that they’re hot. It is very rare that I am not cold. 150lbs might not seem obese but I have 35% body fat which is MORE than enough and I see girls with 10% body fat and NO muscle wearing T shirts while I’m wearing a jumper and sometimes a coaf aswell!!!

  6. jameria21 says:

    I can totally relate and my co-workers around me more so as they are more physically fit than I am. However, though I do have some weight to lose I am not overly obese. But most times am cold and my cubicle neighbor who ways a buck 10 wet because he is a young avid cycler is always freezing and wearing hoodies inside. While my best friend who is severly over weight is always sweating profusely.

    Now, as far as women go, where we are in age/life is going to affect our body temperatures different than men. I used to freeze all the time until at 30 i was forced into menopause and then i was sweating all the time for abour 6 years and now that I’m through it, I am usually pretty comfortable at about 80 to 85 degrees, but freeze anything lower than 80. It is easier from someone to have a fan at their desk if they get to hot than for someone too cold to have a heater (usually not allowed) or have to put on a coat and gloves – yes I’ve had to try to type with gloves on because it gets so cold.

    Great article IMHO!

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