Electric Monkey Pants

Been awhile since I posted. I know, I know. But I’ve been busy – …., shit! Always doin’ something!

The holidays are over and now I’m looking at the new year with some degree of trepidation. Currently, Ariel Sharon, Prime Minster of Israel (or “Hey, That guy is totally fat!!” as he is commonly known) is very ill, having suffered a life-threatening stroke. I think he will probably die. But we will see.

This can only mean more instability in the Middle East. I have a bad feeling about this year. I’m worried that something terrible will happen. I’m trying to keep chin up, but this doesn’t look very good. Hopefully, I’m just freaking for no reason. But you know, maybe – just maybe – the coming war is a good thing. It’ll free us of some dangerous illusions, that’s for sure.

I’m afraid people in America have gotten lazy and are afraid to face the terrifying reality about our leaders. This is not a bunch of weak-kneed faggoty-ass bureaucrats talking about interests rates or some shit. No, this Bush crew is a bunch of hard-nosed, bad-ass muthafuckers. Seriously, I respect the game they throw, but make no mistake. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and those other bastards – they’re fucking evil. Make no mistake.

I’m not talking about knockin’-over-a-store-evil, I’m talking about long E evil. Ya know:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeevil.

We clear? Never say you were not warned. If you follow this Bush motherfucker, you follow a demon on the path to hell.

I shouldn’t even need to justify the above rant. I fear in the a few years I won’t, but by then it’ll be too late. It’s already too late. But people are foolish and they’re easily swayed by the slick news media. The news has given Bush such a free ride that he’s even got about 38% of the population believing he’s doing a good job as president when he – quite clearly – is not. And many of those who disapprove of his performance are woefully ignorant of his many hidden crimes and incompetence. Even some of the people who are accused of being mindless “Bush-haters” are unaware of just how evil he truly is.

America is in a dark place. This regime will not rollover easily. Certainly I believe that we need to impeach Bush. But I actually worry – would he surrender if arrested? Or would his people lead a Coup d’état? It honestly worries me; that’s how little I trust this regime.

I do a lot of reading to keep up on current events. I have ever since I was a child. Sometimes I get so sick to my stomach I can barely continue. But I usually keep plowing on. The horrible truth is still the truth, and that’s important. I know that a lot of other people don’t read as much as I do. I think I have a compulsion or something, because I do it endlessly. But what about the rest of the (non-geeky) population? Are people keeping abreast of current events? Will whatever’s coming next catch them by surprise? I suppose most of the rest of them already know that the governent is full of shit. Don’t have to read no books to figure that out, son. But the other group will never blame the government, no matter what. The government could throw a big party on top of Lady Liberty wherein Bush would ceremonially rape a donkey and Cheney could narrate while Rumsfeld webcasts the whole thing out to a million PCs and the government apologist would still have some bullshit excuses like, “Oh well, that was just light from a weather balloon reflecting off some swamp gas and entering a nearby abandoned prism, which fell off a ledge and spontaneously refracted so as to form the image of George Bush fucking a donkey and beating it like it owed him money, which was transmitted to the internet by a camera that somebody had accidently left connected to a OC-13 uplink connection…. for a half hour.”

Yeah. That’s a believable scenario. I think the problem is that the government’s excuses for its fuck-ups are sometimes even more fantastically unlikely than the conspiracy theories that pop up afterwards. Shit, that’s probably why there’s an eternal debate between the kooks and the skeptics. The “skeptics”, unfortunately, side with the government instead of rationality all too often. And the kooks love to invent crazy shit about, well, George Bush fucking a donkey in a bizarre ritual. I suppose blog posts like this one are the reason many of those fucked up rumors get started. Oops. My apologies in advance.

Anyway, I’m still hoping that 2006 turns out okay and we don’t all get annihilated in fiery nuclear death strike, or sent off to die in a widening middle eastern war that is starting to look more and more like World War III (and now introducing…. Iran!). I’m also hoping that no more hurricanes, earthquakes or tsunamis rip through our cities, here or anywhere. I pray that a horrible virus doesn’t sweep the world and cripple cities across the globe in a gasping trail of hemorrhaging death.

Most importantly, I’m really hoping that no more of my friends or family die. Looking back at my posts, I see that I haven’t posted anything at all since Jason died. I guess that I didn’t know what to say. And I still don’t.

Rest in Peace,
Jason VanBeck

For the rest of you, and anybody who stumbles upon this page – please don’t you die, either.

I guess this is a shitty way to end this post, but….

Happy new year.