Archive for January, 2008

Stabberella

This is my new favorite website: Conjugal Harmony

I’m coming to bust you out, BabyBoo! You too, Fisty!

Damn, I wish that site were real. On the other hand, it’s probably good that it isn’t.

Now that I’ve totally degraded myself and delved into the awful pseudo-reality of women’s prisons, I might as well tell you about my new favorite title for a porno. I saw it on Cracked the other day, and it’s got a bunch of hot, naked chicks in a prison setting on the cover. The title is…. ( wait for it )…. 30 Days in the Hole.

Nefarious people within our government suppress any evidence of malicious intent and instead encourage the perception of incompetence, which often results in the blame being diffused throughout the bureaucracy rather than focused on the individual bad actors in power, who are ultimately responsible, but able to escape justice through a hidden network of friendships and alliances known as the establishment.

So yeah, I know this isn’t a big shocker to anybody with a functioning brain stem, but the Bush administration systematically lied its way into the Iraq War. A new study by the Center For Public Integrity has analyzed the public statements of administration officials in the run-up to the war and come up with 935 lies in a two-year span.

The study counted 935 false statements in the two-year period. It found that in speeches, briefings, interviews and other venues, Bush and administration officials stated unequivocally on at least 532 occasions that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction or was trying to produce or obtain them or had links to al-Qaida or both.

Everybody makes mistakes. Accidents happen and people do stupid things… but 935 mistakes? No fucking way.

So Many Lies, So Little Time
This was an organized campaign of deception. It was a fraud perpetrated on the American people and, most especially, on the people of Iraq.

935 LIES! That’s 1.28 lies per day for 24 months straight by my calculations.

Take a look at the chart below (click for a larger version). You can see that the lies are concentrated around the pre-war and immediate post-invasion period. The peak lying period was the February before the invasion (which began on March 19, 2003). This was no accident.

This is not just a bunch of anonymous interns leaking statements to the press. The study concentrated on just 8 top officials:

President Bush, for example, made 232 false statements about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and another 28 false statements about Iraq’s links to Al Qaeda. Secretary of State Powell had the second-highest total in the two-year period, with 244 false statements about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and 10 about Iraq’s links to Al Qaeda. Rumsfeld and Fleischer each made 109 false statements, followed by Wolfowitz (with 85), Rice (with 56), Cheney (with 48), and McClellan (with 14).

The study can only look at public statements, so we have no way of counting the many lies whispered into the ears of journalists. It’s interesting that Karl Rove was not included in this study, but he’s more of a behind-the-scenes operator. Also missing are gobs of military men, mid-level staffers, the whole pundit class on TV and many more folks who are not directly connected to the administration. These 935 lies are just a drop in the bucket, but they all originate from very high-ranking officials.

The Impeachment Fantasy
So now that we’ve got a study in the mainstream press clearly delineating the fact that George W. Bush made at least 260 false statements in just 24 months, that means the impeachment hearings are just around the corner, right?

Wrong.

The Democrats will wag their fingers and cluck their tongues and do…. nothing. The Republicans have long since sold their souls, but it’s the Democrats’ betrayal that really hurts America. We need a true opposition party more than ever, but we don’t have one.

If you’ve been reading this blog you probably know by now how Washington really works. Democracy, hearings, investigations, intelligence estimates, blah, blah, blah. It’s all just for show. The real power resides behind the scenes. The oligarchy, the establishment, the powers that be — whatever you want to call them — have decided that there will be no impeachment hearings. So there won’t be.

I don’t know what else to tell you. “Write your congressperson”? Fat lotta good that will do, but it doesn’t hurt to keep the pressure on.

The Oligarchs’ Dilemma
Just try not get too depressed. Yes, American “democracy” makes Pakistan look like an oasis of liberty, but it’s not all bad. I’ve got a feeling that there are some people in the establishment who want to change things. No doubt they’re biding their time, waiting for things to fall into place. But we don’t have much time. I don’t think the Bush team plans to leave office, ’cause if they do they’ll have to leave the country, too. Even the oligarchy can’t stop a limited investigation into the Bush regime by any successive Democratic administration. They have to continue the illusion of democracy, even if it hurts them in the short term. And that could mean a war crimes tribunal for Bush and crew.

Cheney knows this so it’s more likely that there will be another terrorist attack before or shortly after the elections (before inaugeration). Bush will declare martial law, lock down the nation, suspend the constitution and retain power “temporarily” until the emergency has passed. Of course, just like in Musharraf’s Pakistan, the emergency will never pass.

If there are any oligarchs still loyal to the constitution, they will have to move quickly. There’s a very small window (less than a year now) to execute their counter-coup. Bush will move to arrest the constitutional loyalists on trumped-up charges. Impeachment is the only remedy. We’ll need to take to the streets and camp out in every single senator’s office and demand justice.

If and when it does happen we’ll have to be ready. We need to stand up for democracy, no matter what the cost. The future of America hangs in the balance.

You might’ve heard that a huge, mile-long UFO was spotted in Texas last week.

Several dozen people — including a pilot, county constable and business owners — insist they have seen a large silent object with bright lights flying low and fast. Some reported seeing fighter jets chasing it.

Well, that sounds like a weather balloon. Federal officials are sure it was in fact a weather balloon.

While federal officials insist there’s a logical explanation, locals swear that it was larger, quieter, faster and lower to the ground than an airplane.

I’m sure there’s a logical explanation too. Clearly weather balloons have learned how to accelerate and maintain high speeds. It’s the only logical explanation.

Officials at the region’s two Air Force bases — Dyess in Abilene and Sheppard in Wichita Falls — also said none of their aircraft were in the area last week. The Air Force no longer investigates UFOs.

Uhh…. The Air Force hasn’t actually “investigated” anything, and yet they’re sure that it was an earth-based phenomenon. How can this be?

Well you see, the Air Force has a very detailed and complex methodology that they use to figure out what some yokel saw in the skies. I managed to sneak this out of an unnamed AFB undetected. This is very top secret. Click for a larger version.

Trust your government, folks. They would never lie to you.

UPDATE 1.24.08: The Air Force Reserve has completely changed their story.

I love giving free advice, so here’s some for their spokesman, Maj. Karl Lewis…

A hint: If you want people to believe you’re being straight with them, you can’t just change your story two weeks after the event. Dumbass.

Officials at the Joint Reserve Base Naval Air Station in Fort Worth initially said none of their planes had been in the area, but on Wednesday they said 10 F-16s were there that day. The officials said they were mistaken and wanted to set the record straight “in the interest of public awareness.”

They were fucking “mistaken”! Ha! They must’ve sent those ten F-16s up accidentally and not even noticed until they came back 2 weeks later. What a “brilliant” explanation!

I love to see the incompetence card played so poorly.

So now the Air Force looks completely retarded and deceitful. They first claimed that they didn’t have any planes in the area, but now they’re saying they did, but neglecting to mention what kind of plane could elicit this reaction from the natives:

Anne Frazor, who owns a fabric store in Stephenville, about 70 miles southwest of Fort Worth, said many in town have seen military aircraft zoom overhead from time to time as part of training operations. But she said that wasn’t what she saw Jan. 8.”I couldn’t begin to say what it was, but to me it wasn’t planes,” Frazor said.

–snip–

From well-respected business owners to a county constable, several dozen people say they saw a flying object that was larger, quieter, faster and lower to the ground than an airplane. They also said its lights changed configuration, unlike those of a plane.

“I guarantee that what we saw was not a civilian aircraft,” Steve Allen, a pilot and freight company owner, said Wednesday.

This guy would probably recognize an F-16 … or ten of them. And it’s not like the Air Force trains near where the sightings occurred.

The planes’ training area in the Brownwood Military Operating Area includes Stephenville‘s Erath County, but Allen said it does not include the airspace where he saw the object. Also, Jan. 8 was not the only day sightings were reported.

And I daresay the pilot could distinguish 10 F-16s from a half mile-wide object.

So now we can say that the AF is completely full of shit.

Great. Just great. I love being lied to… Oh wait! No I don’t; it fucking sucks, you dicks! Why you gotta be like that, Air Force Reserve?? huh?!! … .. [/frontin']

I suspect the answer is that they were leaned on by more powerful forces.

It’s pretty clear that there are those in power who don’t want this information to get out. I really don’t think people who call UFO coverup conspiracy theorists names like “kooks” are right, simply because it’s so obvious the government has been lying to us. There is plenty of reason to believe the worst if somebody lies to you. Boldly. Repeatedly.

“In the interest of public awareness,” the spokesman said. As if they’ve ever given two shits about “public awareness” before. Where’s the “public awareness” right here?

The U.S. Air Force says it has not investigated UFO sightings since 1969 when it ended Project Blue Book, which examined more than 12,600 reported UFO sightings — including 700 that were never explained.

The studious way they avoid investigating isn’t weird or anything. Riiiight. I totally believe you guys… [rolls eyes]

Don’t you think it’s odd that not investigating something is official government policy?

“It’s official government policy to ignore these weird, unexplained events. Carry about your business, consu- .. uh, .. er… I mean, ‘citizens.’”

Are we supposed to salute?

Fuck this. Give me the truth.

Jeb Bush on "Truth"

Jeb Bush, the president’s li’l brother, has a little warning for all of you who would doggedly pursue the truth, no matter what it may be:

The truth is useless. You have to understand this right now. You can’t deposit the truth in a bank. You can’t buy groceries with the truth. You can’t pay rent with the truth. The truth is a useless commodity that will hang around your neck like an albatross all the way to the homeless shelter. And if you think that the million or so people in this country that are really interested in the truth about their government can support people who would tell them the truth, you got another thing coming. Because the million or so people in this country that are truly interested in the truth don’t have any money.
– Jeb Bush, former Governor of Florida

It might sound like he’s talking out of his ass, but I suspect he’s not. He’s part of an elite clique that holds power in this and many other countries, and you can bet they’ve studied their opposition very closely. Their opposition is a small contingent of kooks and nutcases who actually believe that the truth is important. I bet the elite looked in the NSA’s gigantic spying database, crunched some numbers and figured out that they only have to worry about a million or so people, out of the 300 million US citizens in this country.

That’s only 1 out of 300, but it’s still a lot of people. Of course, he’s right: We don’t have any money. But we do have a need for truth, and despite what the Jeb Bushes of the world may tell you, that’s the most important thing.

I wear the albatross of truth with pride, but I can understand why people would be reluctant to do so. The truth is dangerous, especially when powerful men like Jeb Bush are so adamantly opposed to the real truth. People learn to keep their mouths shut. Go along to get along. Join the herd.

But then I guess you can’t really complain when politicians lie to you if you’re not going stand up for truth. Churchill said democracy is the worst form of government, except for all of the others that have been tried. Perhaps we’ve gotten the government we deserve. Perhaps it was our laissez faire attitude towards truth that got us into this mess in the first place and allowed it to fester and burst in such a gooey explosion of lies and bullshit.

Maybe the million or so of us should move somewhere else. Maybe Americans would rather live in deception than stand up for the truth. I don’t know. But I believe that the truth matters somehow, more than Jeb could ever know. And if Americans don’t like the truth, I’m pretty sure they don’t like the feeling that they’ve been lied to either.

Let that be a warning for Jeb and his pals. Americans don’t like being played for fools… and the truth is that that is exactly what Jeb and the elite are doing.

No wonder they’re no friends of the truth.

Fearsome Iranian Speedboats!!!

Did you hear?! Our poor navy was ravaged by FEARSOME IRANIAN SPEEDBOATS!!! Oh my!

The Pentagon has released its own video of Sunday’s incident, showing small Iranian boats swarming around U.S. warships in the Strait of Hormuz.

In the recording, a man threatens in English, “I am coming to you. … You will explode after … minutes.”

Sure, the tape is a fake and speedboats menace warships the same way a matchbox car menaces a Hummer, but still!! Fearsome Iranian Speedboats, man! I’ve asked Jeebus about this and he says we need to invade Iran right away before they send even more Fearsome Iranian Speedboats at us!!

I don’t see why we’re not nuking Iran right now!! The guy faking an Iranian accent in the fake video clearly said we would “explode after… minutes”! What more do you need?! A crude skull & crossbones flag with “Death to the Great Satan” written on it?! Just imagine the horror! We need to nip this Iranian menace in the bud NOW!

If we put up with Fearsome Iranian Speedboats today, what will Iran send after us next?! My God, they could send Marauding Iranian Helicopters or even Dreadful Iranian Bedouins (and their Camels) to Missouri!!! OH DEAR GOD WHAT WILL WE DO?!!!

Write your congressmen! We need to nuke Iran before their Fearsome Iranian Speedboats strike again!!

I like to learn a thing or two every day, and today I learned a very interesting thing indeed.

Many people know that alcohol can be used as fuel for cars and farm equipment. It’s popular today in the guise of ethanol, but ethanol is largely a red herring. Ethanol is a ghost of what could have been had the Prohibition movement not killed alcohol fuel in its infancy.

Most people are not aware that Henry Ford’s Model T came in a variation that allowed the driver to switch the carburetor to run the engine on farm-made ethyl acohol [sic]. This allowed the operator to stop at local farms (equipped with stills) to refuel his/her car during long trips through the backcountry. After all- the gas station wasn’t exactly as ubiquitous in those days, as it is now. The Standard Oil Company and its industrialist-founder John D. Rockefeller wasn’t too happy with this arrangement. After all, Rockefeller’s company had a virtual monoploly on gasoline at this time in our nation’s development.

It kind of makes me wonder why we’re fighting an illegal war over oil in the desert, thousands of miles away, when we could probably retrofit our cars to run on domestically produced alcohol fuels (which does not have to be corn-based like ethanol).

Like William Randolph Hearst’s campaign against cannabis (marijuana), Rockefeller’s campaign against alcohol was ultimately successful… for him. Hearst and Rockefeller’s respective campaigns were horrible crimes perpetrated against America, the environment and truth, but both men were personally enriched through their scheming.

Since the late 1800′s there had been a growing Alcohol Temperance Movement developing among reformers. Rockefeller saw an opportunity in this. It is well-documented that local efforts to curb alcohol consumption were expanded to the national level when high-profile figures like Rockefeller joined in the anti-alcohol efforts. Was he so concerned with the social problems that abuse of alcohol was said to cause?

No… John D. Rockefeller was not concerned with family dynamics in the working classes. But he was influential in changing the goals of the movement from temperance to prohibition. As we know, his contribution to the outlawing of the production and sale of alcohol was successful. Of course, Rockefeller and the oil companies reaped tremendous profits as a result. Remember that the period covered by the 18th Amendment (1919-1933) coincided with the huge rise in the sale and operation of automobiles. America was on the move, and all of these cars were now operated solely on gasoline. By the time that the 21st Amendment was passed, ending the prohibition of alcohol, the standard was already set and worked completely in the favor of the Rockefeller family.

While this is an excellent example of a conspiracy against the American people that is both provable and successful, there is one problem with calling it a conspiracy: Conspiracies require illegal acts, and lying to the American people is not necessarily illegal. Unethical, yes, but unless you were personally slandered there’s no chance of legal recourse against such conspiratorial campaigns.

In the end, this is an example of how rich men can ride roughshod over the Constitution and the democratic process and there’s not a damn thing anybody can do about it.

Musharraf blames the victim

“For standing up outside the car, I think it was she to blame alone. Nobody else. Responsibility is hers,” Musharraf said in a interview taped on Saturday morning, referring to slain leader Benazir Bhutto.

He also said she was wearing a short skirt and was clearly “asking for it.”

From digg.

Commercial for the Mainstream Media (MSM)

If somebody was selling this, would you buy it?

Indict the Media

If I could indict the Media, I would. They need to be brought up on charges. From lying to protect power, shying away from truth, manipulating elections, to corroding our minds with pointless trash, Big Media has a lot of answer for.

But don’t take it from me. Take it from John Hockenberry, former Dateline NBC reporter. Here’s a few nuggets:

Entertainment programs often took on issues that would never fly on Dateline. On a Thursday night, ER could do a story line on the medically uninsured, but a night later, such a “downer policy story” was a much harder sell. In the time I was at NBC, you were more likely to hear federal agriculture policy discussed on The West Wing, or even on Jon Stewart, than you were to see it reported in any depth on Dateline.

Yeah, hard news sure is a “downer”, but you know what? Life sucks, get a fucking helmet. Put it on the goddamn news, NBC!

Hockenberry tackles GE’s acquisition of NBC next, and the bizarre consequences of a company like GE trying to make news the same way it makes lightbulbs or turbines. Six Sigma is a form of quality control popular in the manufacturing sector:

While Six Sigma’s goal-oriented blather and obsession with measuring everything was jarring, it was also weirdly familiar, inasmuch as it was strikingly reminiscent of my college Maoism I class. Mao seemed to be a good model for Jack Welch and his Six Sigma foot soldiers; Six Sigma’s “Champions” and “Black Belts” were Mao’s “Cadres” and “Squad Leaders.”

Finding such comparisons was how I kept from slipping into a coma during dozens of NBC employee training sessions where we were told not to march in political demonstrations of any kind, not to take gifts from anyone, and not to give gifts to anyone. At mandatory, hours-long “ethics training” meetings we would watch in-house videos that brought all the drama and depth of a driver’s-education film to stories of smiling, swaggering employees (bad) who bought cases of wine for business associates on their expense accounts, while the thoughtful, cautious employees (good) never picked up a check, but volunteered to stay at the Red Roof Inn in pursuit of “shareholder value.”

To me, the term “shareholder value” sounded like Mao’s “right path,” although this was not something I shared at the employee reëducation meetings. As funny as it seemed to me, the idea that GE was a multinational corporate front for Maoism was not a very widespread or popular view around NBC. It was best if any theory that didn’t come straight from the NBC employee manual (a Talmudic tome that largely contained rules for using the GE credit card, most of which boiled down to “Don’t”) remained private.

I did, however, point out to the corporate-integrity people unhelpful details about how NBC News was covering wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that our GE parent company stood to benefit from as a major defense contractor. I wondered aloud, in the presence of an integrity “team leader,” how we were to reconcile this larger-scale conflict with the admonitions about free dinners. “You make an interesting point I had not thought of before,” he told me. “But I don’t know how GE being a defense contractor is really relevant to the way we do our jobs here at NBC news.” Integrity, I guess, doesn’t scale.

No, I guess it doesn’t. That might be inconvenient. It might even be considered a defect.

Those “reëducation meetings” were for people like Hockenberry. Occasionally a reporter grows a brain or a spine and those “defects” have to be dealt with. Usually, the best way is to drum him out of the company using boredom and inanity. Chairman Mao would’ve simply had him shot, but murder is expensive and doesn’t enhance shareholder value. Ah, how humanity has evolved!

Next, Hockenberry cleverly tries to use the octopus to strangle itself, but probably only managed to get a negative mark on his next performance evaluation.

But GE had long done business with the bin Ladens. In a misguided attempt at corporate synergy, I called GE headquarters in Fairfield, CT, from my hotel room in Riyadh. I inquired at the highest level to see whether, in the interest of bringing out all aspects of an important story for the American people, GE corporate officers might try to persuade the bin Ladens to speak with Dateline while we were in the kingdom. I didn’t really know what to expect, but within a few hours I received a call in my hotel room from a senior corporate communications officer who would only read a statement over the phone. It said something to the effect that GE had an important, long-standing, and valuable business relationship with the Bin Laden Group and saw no connection between that relationship and what Dateline was trying to do in Saudi Arabia. He wished us well. We spoke with no bin Laden family member on that trip.

While, there’s no proof that this stunt helped get Hockenberry fired, it probably didn’t help.

So what’s a guy who likes emerging media and a hard-hitting story supposed to do? Stay the fuck away from the MSM, that’s what. So that’s what he did.