Category : nothing

Electric Monkey Pants 3.0

Welcome to the new and improved Electric Monkey Pants!

Ever since Blogger shut down my FTP-run blog I’ve been working to migrate all the posts over to WordPress and start anew! I hope you like the new look and the new features this platform offers. I spent 4 years on Blogger and it was great, but I knew it was time to leave. WordPress is an amazing platform and I’m looking forward to using it, starting now. However, moving all 500+ posts from the old platform to the new one has been an incredible chore. I’ve been procrastinating because I knew it would be a pain in the ass — and it was. But now it’s done and I don’t have to worry about it anymore! Let’s hope WordPress is here to stay!

Please let me know if you notice any problems with the site. Just leave a detailed comment below and I’ll take a look. Thanks for reading and thanks for helping me make Electric Monkey Pants a popular resource for internet weirdos.

War on spam

I’ve been fighting a war against spammers on this blog the last couple weeks, and I’ve been losing big time. Unfortunately, that means it’s time to turn on word verification. I have traditionally kept it easy to post here on EMP, even letting anonymous users comment, but now the spammers have left me with no choice but to mandate word verification (CAPTCHAs) and that users be logged in. This sucks and I wish I didn’t have to do it, but I’ve been getting hundreds of spam comments every day and that cannot be good for your experience, my sanity or this blog’s page rank.

Let me know if you think this new policy really sucks. Unfortunately, you’ll have to log in to Blogger/Google and pass a little visual test to do it.

12/18 Update: Okay, the spammers just made me look like a fool by spamming this very post. The word verification thing seems not to have affected them at all. It looks like I will have to crank up things even further. For the time being, comments are subject to moderation before they get posted. I will post your comment — no matter how stupid and offensive — as long as it’s not fucking spam.

I guess I should take it as a compliment that they feel this blog is worth targeting so intensely, but it’s really messing up the comment sections. I’m so tired of ugg boots and ed hardy spamming my blog! Talk about the wrong blog to peddle your douchey wares… Fuck off and die in a fire, spammers!!

The rest of you: Can you still post comments? Feel free to leave a test post and let me know if the hoops you have to jump through (log in, CAPTCHAS, moderation) are too onerous. I know it’s a pain and I’m sorry, but it seems to be necessary at this point. I will try to stay on top of things and approve legit comments quickly.

Happy Dragonfly is happy!

Happy Dragonfly is Happy!

I took this photo the other day and noticed what a huge grin this little dragonfly seems to have. I’m glad she’s happy; it was a beautiful day and she’s the only creature in my backyard my cat didn’t manage to kill or maim.

EMP: Now with more laughs and less despair!

Hey everybody. I’ve added a bunch of new links to the blogroll: Crazy Web Comics!

Check out the sidebar (under the Blogroll, which is under the Archives, etc.) for 12 of the funniest comics you can find on the web — and only on the web, since they contain “mature” content that’s apparently not fit for the family newspaper.

Got any great comics that I’m missing? Let me know in the comments.

Believe it or not, this blog was intended to be a humorous, fun, weird place. I originally wanted the blog to live up to its name a little more than it does now (although there are many meanings, connotations, perspectives to be had on my bizarre little name). Yep; Electric Monkey Pants was supposed to be a barrel full of monkeys. But something got mixed up and the monkeys took over the White House and things have been getting steadily worse ever since, which is pretty depressing.

So yeah. Politics, while a big interest of mine, was not supposed to so utterly dominate the blog. It just kind of happened. I felt I had to speak out, even if it all it got me was placed on a list somewhere and the creeped out stares of friends and coworkers.

I’m hoping things get better soon so I can focus on quirky, fun shit, rather than serious, depressing shit. Will Obama deliver that sort of turnaround?

Don’t make me laugh. It’s gonna take a lot more than that. But I think the neocons are weaker than they seem. The cracks are starting show and the juggernaut is beginning to sputter and list to the side. When their ship of fools runs aground I will be the one laughing so hard it sounds like thunder.

Stabberella

This is my new favorite website: Conjugal Harmony

I’m coming to bust you out, BabyBoo! You too, Fisty!

Damn, I wish that site were real. On the other hand, it’s probably good that it isn’t.

Now that I’ve totally degraded myself and delved into the awful pseudo-reality of women’s prisons, I might as well tell you about my new favorite title for a porno. I saw it on Cracked the other day, and it’s got a bunch of hot, naked chicks in a prison setting on the cover. The title is…. ( wait for it )…. 30 Days in the Hole.

Sick Music

I haven’t posted in awhile. It’s been two weeks; two very busy weeks.

I wish I had something cool for you, but I don’t have much to say other than: I’m sick. I feel like crap. So no worthwhile posting today. Instead, I want to direct you to an interesting site I found. It’s called thesixtyone and it’s basically Digg for music. FINALLY!! I’ve been waiting for something like this for a long time and it looks like somebody’s finally done it right.

Check it out; let me know what you think. I’ve uploaded a Darkfold song if you want to hunt it down. :-) We have a show coming up on Saturday at Station-4. We would love to see you there!

Because no matter where I go, it’s always true!

It’s especially true when I’m driving. Man, don’t get me started.

Without power…. again

Once again I am without power. I’m writing this from work, just to update the blog, ’cause it might be awhile. This time I can see what the problem is: My neighbor’s telephone/power pole was snapped in half and fell on one of his trees. The whole thing is just fucked. The powerlines going to my house are sagging so low I could almost jump rope with them.

So, for the second time this month I am trying to survice without power. It was the same thing as last time; a powerful storm came through at 3 am and the first thing it did was knock out my juice. My sweet, sweet electricity. Oh how I miss it.

I guess I’m lucky I didn’t have more wind damage since there were 70 mph winds reported (it was 80 last time I think). Lots of my neighbors lost trees or at least huge branches. The whole ‘hood looks like a warzone, with leaves and branches scattered everywhere. I half-expected to see radioactive zombies wandering the street in search of brains.

So I guess Mother Nature hates me or something. I’d better buy a generator before the next storm. That, and a shotgun for the zombies.

36 hours with no power

Because of the storm early Saturday morning I spent last nearly-40 hours without electricity. It’s an interesting perspective on things. You realize how much you depend on a constant stream of fresh, juicy power coming into your house.

The big thing is the refrigerator. As the food starts to get warmer and warmer you’ve gotta calculate how long it will be before the power is back on, and with no working phonelines or a TV or a computer or an internet connection it’s kinda hard to sniff it out.

Usually the power is back on shortly after the outage. It was clear in the morning that this wasn’t one of those outages. I called the power company today on the last of my cellphone battery and they said, worst-case, it could be end of day Tuesday. Yikes.

You start thinking differently without reliable power. Simple tasks become much harder, some things become impossible and you have to be wily and inventive. The weird thing was how much I got done around the house. Tasks that has been sitting around forever got completed. Overall, I can’t complain. But I’m glad it’s over.

Blogs of Summer

It’s hard to blog during the summer.

There’s so much to do outside, even when it’s melt-your-face hot out there. Things only get complicated by the fact that I’ve started turning my computer off when I’m not using it. This is “who are you and what have you done with Tim?!”-type behavior for me, but I’m trying to waste less electricity. And I’ve realized that the computer is really loud. It’s quite peaceful when the damn thing is off ’cause the hum of the fans is pretty annoying.

I use my computer as a jukebox, so this crimps my ability to play tunes easily. Still, I kinda like having the infernal machine off for a change — I use it too fucking much. What do I often do after coming back from a hard day at work, where I’ve been staring at a screen for 8 to 10 hours? Why, surf the internet of course! That shit needs to stop.

I’m hoping this change doesn’t impact the blog too much. I’ll still turn the computer on from time to time. It’s also my recording workstation, so I’ll need it to make a bunch of tweaks to the album before we are finished. Speaking of the band, concert dates are coming soon.

Lastly, there might be fewer posting for a few days as I battle a wizard. That wizard, of course, is Harry Potter and his 7th book. I love J.K. Rowling’s books and this is the last of the Potter books. I’m about 200 pages in and it’s really good. I’ve been trying to slow down or else I could read the whole thing in two days despite it being 750 pages. I’m sure a lot of people are done with it already, but I’m trying to take my time and savor it since this is it; no more Potter after this.

How sad it will be when the book’s over. Whether Harry dies or not doesn’t really matter. Since this is the last book he’s dead to us when the last page turns. There’s something very final about that.

pickup lines that will get me punched

are you looking for cock …
’cause i’m overstocked!!

B’doomph! Yup, I just had a “great pickup line” moment just then. i wanted to share it with y’all, ’cause I am so giving. :-p

Really using it would entail getting punched in the face, but it’s fun to think about.

Site changes

I’ve been slow with the posts lately. Part of the reason is that I’ve been screwing around with the design/layout of the blog a bit…. not enough to give y’all whiplash, but you’ve probably seen a few different iterations if you’ve been checking regularly.

I tried the cool digg/reddit buttons that show you how many diggs the story has, but I thought it was loading too slow and even caused my browser to crash on occasion. My apologies if this has happened to anyone else. Let me know in the comments if you’re having any issues with the new version, which just has static buttons to click; no javascript.

I went ahead and added a javascript-based “Top Tags” section, courtesy of Technorati, though. I’m a little disappointed I can’t edit the color/layout of that widget more, but it’s better than nothing. I’ll probably bust out a more useful navigation/label table later on, which will keep you on the site rather than sending you off to Technorati. It will include all of my tags, too, not just the most popular.

I promise to have a new post up soon; a real one! It should get your attention, too!