Electric Monkey Pants

Awww… poor Dick Cheney is offended.

Vice President Dick Cheney, speaking at a political luncheon in Chicago, denounced the decision to reveal the existence of the financial monitoring program and the earlier-disclosed National Security Agency surveillance program.

“What I find most disturbing about these stories is that some of the news media take it upon themselves to disclose vital national security programs, thereby making it more difficult for us to prevent future attacks against the American people,” Cheney said. “That offends me.“

You know what? Suck it, Dick. What offends me is illegal spying programs enacted unilaterally by the executive branch with little oversight from Congress and apparently no oversight from the courts. What the hell is going on here, Dick? I think you’ve got some serious explaining to do. We are ostensibly a democracy and as such you are expected to act in accordance with our principles such as liberty, freedom, government transparency and check and balances. You are ruling as if you and Bush were Kings or co-Emperors. This cannot continue.

We, the people, are very concerned with the way you’re running things, Dick. May I call you “dick”, Dick? First we find out you’re tapping our phones, then our internet, and now our financial transactions? Is there anything you haven’t tapped? I suppose you’ll be putting microphones in our houses and apartments next, right? We’ve gotta do whatever it takes to stop dem terr’rists, right? Even if we have to give away all our liberties and live in fear under the thumb of an oppressive government?

No.

You hear me, Dick? NO!

I choose freedom. I choose liberty. I’ll take the risk, I accept the possibility of terrorists attacking me or my town. I still choose freedom. Statistically, you’re far more likely to die in a car accident than a terrorist attack. I still drive my car all the time. I choose freedom.

You never even asked us. You never even gave us a choice. You just started secretly taking our rights and liberties away. Well, that ends now. You should be impeached and then indicted for your crimes, Dick. You never even considered asking us whether we wanted to surrender those rights; you took them.

Your true colors are showing, Dick. We can see now that you are a fascist. If not in philosophy then certainly in action, you are a fascist and it’s time for you to resign because you are clearly not fit to be vice president of the United States.

You may have thought you were doing the best thing for us, you may have assumed that we would want to lose our privacy and our liberty in exchange for an empty promise of safety. That’s irrelevant. You were wrong, and you didn’t err on the side of liberty. You erred on the side of expediency and dictatorship. We don’t live in a dictatorship, Dick. You of all people should know that. But we will if you continue to be so stubborn and aggressive. It’s time to resign, Dick.

It’s time to face the music: Resign and apologize.