Electric Monkey Pants

I don’t get this whole gay marriage thing. Jesus was clearly gay. Here’s a historical image of him groping a follower:

Okay, I’m totally joking. But let’s not forget that Jesus was a rabble-rousing radical revolutionary. He is usually depicted in Christian imagery as being a bit of a hippy (long hair, beard, sandals, probably smoked weed, etc.). Heck, he was basically the original hippy, preaching nonviolence while evil festered and grew all around him. Instead of being thanked for his wisdom and optimism he was nailed to a cross, much like hippy war protestors were shot in the ’60s and ’70s (Four dead in Ohio).

How come the people who claim to love Jesus the most seem to act in a way that is directly opposed to everything Jesus stood for?