Category : Bush

“[The] Five-year campaign plan [includes]… a total of seven countries, beginning with Iraq, then Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Iran, Somalia and Sudan” (Pentagon official quoted by General Wesley Clark)

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This should come as a surprise to no one who reads this blog regularly. For the rest of the world, it might be a bit of a shock. Alas, it’s hard to prove that we are in “Imperial” mode. Neocons on Digg have simply attacked Clark’s character rather than dealing with the revelation.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink
You can lead a person to truth, but you can’t make him think.

Bush Attacked by Rabid Turkey!

What a fearsome attack by the turkey!! Bush is surely finished now. Whole swarms of turkeys will track him wherever he goes. He messed up big. They first thing they tell you is “don’t piss off turkeys” in politics.

Okay, so I just found a picture and made that up. But Fox News makes up news all the time, so why can’t I? And really, don’t we all secretly wish that GW would be eaten alive by vicious swarms of malignantly insane turkeys prowling the earth searching for prey among the weak and stupid? I mean c’mon; everybody wishes that.

I think we’ve really learned a lot here today, children. Let’s all prey for the president’s immediate emasculation by turkeys in the hope that it will improve the sociopolitical milieu of our times. No doubt the current political paradigm is trending towards a cancerous expansion of power reminiscient of the archetypal slide into oligarchical totalitarianism so familiar in history that it calls for the only remedy that could be carried out forthwith, which is the president being fed to a ravenous squadron of rabid turkeys. Duh.

That’s a great picture, though. Bush would be a funny guy if he weren’t so sociopathic.

President Bush is infallible! He can do no wrong!

So says a Justice Department Lawyer To Congress: ‘The President Is Always Right’:

LEAHY: I don’t think the President was talking about the nuances of the law of war paradigm, he was saying this was going to tell him that he could keep Guantanamo open or not, after it said he could.

BRADBURY: Well, it’s not —

LEAHY: Was the President right or was he wrong?

BRABURY: It’s under the law of war –

LEAHY: Was the President right or was he wrong?

BRADBURY: The President is always right.

This is what I’m talking about when I bitch about fascism. This whole idea that our leaders are somehow infallible in completely antithetical to the American Way. We were raised with the notion that it’s okay to question authority and then this dumbass comes around says that President Bush is “always right” by virtue of… what? His power? His name? I have no idea how Foolio plans on justifying that statement. It was probably just an idiotic one-off, but it points to an underlying authoritarianism in government. Remember, these are the people Bush surrounds himself with — so of course they will kiss his ass. But saying he’s infallible to Congress? That’s just fucking nuts.

Besides, George Bush is, if anything, always wrong.

“All right, you’ve covered your ass now” is what George Bush said to the CIA agent who flew out to his ranch specifically to warn him about intelligence concerning the presidential daily brief entitled, “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US.”

On Aug. 6, a CIA official brought the infamous “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US” memo to Crawford, to read it out personally to the President and make sure he got the warning. Bush sat in silence as the briefer delivered his fell message. Duty done, the agent awaited the president’s orders, or the president’s guidance, or the president’s questions. He got nothing but a curt, snide dismissal: “All right, you’ve covered your ass now.”

That was it. Bush had nothing else to say about this stark threat of impending slaughter. He had no questions, no advice; the “Commander-in-Chief” had no commands. Just smirking contempt. “You’ve covered your ass.” You’ve gone through the motions, you’ve played your part in the charade, just like me – now get lost.

Even if you give Bush every benefit of the doubt here, even if you put the most charitable construction possible on his behavior – although his proven record of duplicity and malevolence deserves no such charity – even with all this, the very best you could say of his reaction is that it represents a blood-curdling degree of depraved indifference and criminal negligence, worthy of Nero.”

Bush is a real card isn’t he? Funny guy. What kind of games are they playing over there in Washington, D.C.? “You’ve covered your ass” is not an appropriate response to a grave terrorist threat from one of America’s supposed top enemies. What’s going on here? Are we to assume that our president is so surly and callous that he just doesn’t care? Or does it run deeper than that, perhaps into the murky land of “fore-knowledge”?

It’s hard to tell. But one thing is for sure: Bush simply is not competent to run this country. He should be impeached immediately, without delay.

But those Republicans sure do stick together, don’t they? Jeeze, sometimes you’ve got to wonder about their fabled ability to fall in line. Does Karl Rove have incriminating pictures of every single one of them or what? C’mon! Grow some balls, guys (and gals). GW is a menace and we need to impeach him forthwith. Perhaps during the hearings we will find out what really happened in the run-up to September 11th.

Koizumi rocks out at Graceland

Koizumi loves Elvis a lot! This story is pretty damn hilarious:

It was Bush’s first visit to Presley’s white brick mansion.

“My first visit too,” Koizumi said, standing in a gaudy, wood-paneled den known as the Jungle Room where Presley hung out with his buddies. “It’s like a dream – with President Bush and Presley’s daughter.”

Bush, first lady Laura Bush and Koizumi drove through the gates of Graceland in a shiny, black limousine adorned with the flags of both nations. It was as if they were making a formal diplomatic visit.

After they got out, the scene turned surreal.

Here was Bush, who didn’t stop off at the Taj Mahal while in India, touring the home of a music star who died in his bathroom of heart disease and drug abuse in 1977.

Instead of walking down red carpets to review troops, Bush and Koizumi strode over green shag that lined the floors and ceiling of the den. Instead of elegant furniture and chandeliers, Bush and Koizumi posed for photos in a room decorated with white ceramic monkeys and wooden chairs with armrests carved in the shape of animal heads.

Aw, c’mon! What’s wrong with ceramic monkeys! I’m tellin’ ya – monkeys are fuckin’ great. Everybody loves monkeys. You can’t go wrong with monkeys. Hell, that’s why I named this blog Electric Monkey Pants. If it’s got monkeys in it, it’s gotta be good, right?

I find this scenario improbably hilarious. I don’t even have any of my customary Bush-bashing as I think it’s decent of him to do a favor for Koizumi like this. Koizumi’s involvement with the Iraq War not withstanding, I think it’s he a pretty cool guy for a politician.

The whole thing sounds totally bizarre. I wish politics were always this weird and interesting. Mostly it’s depressing and hopeless. But Koizumi has brightened my day with his appreciation of Elvis. Rock on!

Dear Leader, fresh from his daily manicure, his daily jog, his daily 3 hour prayer session, his leisurely breakfast and his daily rimjob, got off his ass to yell at the press for bothering to do their job (for once):

President Bush on Monday sharply condemned the disclosure of a program to secretly monitor the financial transactions of suspected terrorists. “The disclosure of this program is disgraceful,” he said.

“For people to leak that program and for a newspaper to publish it does great harm to the United States of America,” Bush said, jabbing his finger for emphasis. He said the disclosure of the program “makes it harder to win this war on terror.”

Meanwhile, hiding in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan, a terrorist foot soldier for Al-Qaeda known as Habib al-Durka al-Alallalli had this to say about the financial records spying story: “Oh my Allah (peace be upon him)! I had no idea that the infidels were watching financial transactions within their own western banking institutions! What a shocker. I guess I will now have to be closing my Wells Fargo account. But what will I do about free checking? Oh, I hope this doesn’t affect my credit rating!”

Other terrorists were similarly concerned about the spying revelations. Several expressed concerns about whether their recent orders from The Pottery Barn were tracked. Remarked al-Alallalli, “Between this and the NSA’s internet datamining I am pretty sure the infidels know what kind of floral patterns I prefer, making it easy to distinguish my cave from Akbar the goat-herder’s. Curse the infidels and their irresistable deals on hand-sewn tufted cushions!!”

Bush wants line-item veto

The last thing we want to do is give this asshole more power!

Bush said a line-item veto would reduce the incentive for Congress to spend wastefully because lawmakers would be less likely to slip pet projects into large spending bills if they knew they could be held up to public scrutiny.

“A line-item veto would give the president a way to insist on greater discipline in the budget,” Bush said.

The measure must still pass the Senate, and that’s by no means a certainty.

Democrats generally oppose the measure. And not all Republicans are excited about the idea, although some embrace it as a way to demonstrate election-year resolve to rein in federal spending.

Lawmakers from both parties who have reservations about the line-item veto contend it shifts too much power to the president, allowing him to try to cut projects proposed by his political enemies, or to use the threat of cutting projects in exchange for favorable votes on legislation the White House desires.

Yeah, and I’m sure the White House would never think of using that power against political enemies or as a sort of tit-for-tat! Never! ‘Cause this administration is sooooo trustworthy! [/sarcasm]

Wasn’t this already declared unconstitutional anyway? I guess the neocons figure they’ve sufficiently packed the Supreme Court with fascist toadies to get away with this. They might be right, so let’s hope it doesn’t pass the Senate.

That’s basically what’s happening here. Specter is determined to please his masters (the neocons, not the American people you silly!) by retroactively making what they did legal:

But Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., and other critics contend the program skirted a 1978 law that required the government to get approval from a secretive federal court before Americans could be monitored.

“We’re getting close with the discussions with the White House, I think, to having the wiretapping issue submitted to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court,” Specter told “Fox New Sunday.”

What needs to be done? Looks like there’s some behind the scenes clean-up or cover-up going on here. Why not just submit it? Because it wouldn’t fly.

The administration has asserted that a post-Sept. 11, 2001, congressional resolution approving the use of military force covered the surveillance of some domestic communications.

Specter has said that the president “does not have a blank check” and he has sought to have administration ask the special court to review the program.

At least not until you write them one, right Arlen? Specter should be using his power as chairman to nail this administration’s balls to the wall, but instead he’s trying to play both sides and get them out of a serious constitutional jam.

Meanwhile, Rep. Peter King is saying that the New York Times should be prosecuted for daring to reveal the financial records spying program:

King, R-N.Y., said he would write Attorney General Alberto Gonzales urging that the nation’s chief law enforcer “begin an investigation and prosecution of The New York Times— the reporters, the editors and the publisher.”

“We’re at war, and for the Times to release information about secret operations and methods is treasonous,” King told The Associated Press.

No, treasonous is destroying Americans’ 4th amendment rights for some sort of secret spying program that wasn’t approved by the full Congress or by any federal court.

Persecuting the press for revealing abuses of power: Sounds exactly like fascism to me!

Bush Vampire

Sucking the life out of Lady Liberty.

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

George W. Bush
8-5-2004

Ward Sutton rocks

He’s just too good. It almost hurts me! Any residual dreams of being a cartoonist die when I look at his stuff. I’ll stick to music. But I don’t mind, since I get to read such good work. The whole Scooby-Doo setting is brilliant.

Look out, Iran. GW's crazy

Listening to: Paul Oakenfold – Nixon’s Spirit (feat. Hunter S. Thompson)

These Bush cabal fuckers are crazy, man. Iraq is a fucking debacle and planning is well under way for part 2: Iran. It’s bigger, badder and much more challenging than the original. This sequel will be the beginning of the end of our little blue planet should we choose this course.

Listening to: Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive

Okay, this is getting creepy. I’m not choosing these songs; they’re popping up on my randomized iTunes player.

Anyway, seriously. We need to step back from the edge. Attacking Iran is crazy. These guys are probably the most powerful nation in the middle east and their fanatic nutjobs, just like Bush & company. That would be a bad combination.

Are you aware of the high-level planning for a war in Iran, with war games to that effect? Here’s a snippet from War and Piece:

The public needs to know first, that this planning includes preemptive plans that the President could approve and implement with 12 hours notice. Congress should take notice of the fact that there is a real war plan — CONPLAN 8022 — and it could be implemented tomorrow.

Second, the public needs to know that the train has left the station on bigger war planning, that a ground war — despite the Post claim yesterday that a land invasion ‘is not contemplated’ — is also being prepared. It is a real war plan; I’ve heard CONPLAN 1025.

Like early 2002, the floodgates have opened and the stories about Iran war planning have started. Some claim Dick Cheney has already made the decision, some claim war this spring, some say the U.S. and Israel are collaborating.

Listening to: Johnny Cash – Meet Me In Heaven

Okay, this is officially scary. WTF?

I had to check the next song. It’s Skid Row. I’m gettin’ outa here.