Electric Monkey Pants

That is according to a new poll by Gallup:

A new Gallup poll finds that roughly 2 in 3 Americans urge a U.S. withdrawal from Iraq, with 31% wanting this to start immediately.

Gallup’s director, Frank Newport, sums up the results today: “Taken together, it is perhaps fair to say that a significant majority of Americans would like the United States to either withdraw troops from Iraq or make specific plans to do so, although there is no majority demand that troops be withdrawn immediately.”

The poll was unusual in that rather than give respondents a list of options, it allowed them to respond in their own words. Gallup then grouped the varied responses and labelled them with a common theme.

I’m glad that they let you state your opinion in your own words. I hate it when they have a bunch of preselected choices for you to pick from — what if your option isn’t on there? Anyway, I bet you’re all just itching to know what my response would be. It is this:

I believe we should immediately and without delay impeach President Bush and Vice President Cheney. That completed we should apologize to the Iraqi people, and the world community as a whole for the murderous and vile actions of our former leaders. Then we should begin a phased withdrawal, hewing to a timetable set by the Iraqi government and approved by the UN and Congress. During this time (which will probably be pretty damn quick — they want us out of there) we should repay the Iraqis for their suffering in cash, but we should not expect mere money to heal their wounds. Money cannot resurrect the dead, after all. Lastly, we should turn Bush and Cheney over to the Iraqi court system so that they can be tried by the same tribunal currently trying Saddam Hussein. Hell, they could all be co-defendents.

That should put a band-aid on the situation at least. I think the insurgents would be genuinely shocked if we held our leaders to the same high ethical standards they preach. The incarceration of Bush & Cheney along with the withdrawal of American troops (and Coalition troops… both of them) would go along way to ending the daily massacres. They would still have to contend with the possibility of civil war (but then again, so would America), but I think they would at least feel more like talking about their differences, rather than just killing indiscriminately. I think splitting Iraq into 3 countries is a possibility. A Kurdish state, a Sunni state and Shiite state could be formed from the ashes of Iraq, which was arbitrarily formed by the British Empire anyway. Limit them to small, defense-oriented armies and you shouldn’t have to worry about them fighting amongst each other. Hopefully Iraq can be saved, but Bush/Cheney really did a number on that nation. They fucked it up bad.

Oh one more quote from the article above should prove that my suggestion, rational as it may be, will never happen:

The poll also found that while 64% feel they “understand” the Bush administraton’s argument for staying in Iraq, only 54% understand the Democrats’ view–whatever that is.

The Democrats are so fucking useless. They have no unity, no strategy and no backbone. Isn’t being united the whole point of a political party? I think we could make an argument that the Democratic Party isn’t a party at all. It’s just a distraction for Bush and for America. What a bunch of fucking useless losers. The two party system has conspired to fuck us once again.

Congress as a whole looks totally out of touch since 2/3 of Americans support withdrawal but The House of Representatives opposes withdrawal by an almost-2/3 margin. They say that withdrawal isn’t politically feasible… what the fuck does that mean? You’ve got well over 50% of the population calling for withdrawal and Republicans and Vichy Democrats are saying it’s not feasible?!! Kinda makes you wonder who they’re really serving, doesn’t it? It’s certainly not us.