Electric Monkey Pants

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Bob Dylan is so fucking overrated…

Filed Under : music, rant, reviews, rock by vemrion
Jul.23,2007

…But he’s still good. People have been talking about Dylan’s new album, Modern Times, saying it’s one of his best. I got my hands on a copy and I must disagree. I thought it was quite disappointing except for the last track, “Ain’t Talkin'” which is damn good. Too bad the rest of the album is impotent and paint-by-numbers tripe.

I don’t expect Bob’s voice to soothe me or even sound decent. Shit, there’s tracks on the album where old Bob sounds like he’s just been gargling with battery acid and peanut butter. He sounds like Zombie Dylan on a couple tracks. I think maybe Dylan’s been dead for a few years and he’s been re-animated with some Frankenstein-esque machine, doomed to wander the world as the undead while recording songs when his rotten voice box feels up to it.

But that’s not what bothers me about his new album.

No, it’s his backing band. On most tracks they sound like a shitty wedding band, playing the blandest, most inoffensive tunes your Aunt Marge could possibly ask for. I know, I know; it’s Dylan, not Killswitch Engage. But c’mon, Bob! Crank it up a notch. The band sounds like they’re on horse tranquilizers and auditioning for a gig as studio musicians for the Muzak corporation.

I saw Dylan live on this tour and the band was a bit better on stage, but maybe that’s because you have to be loud in a 20,000 seat theater. They seemed a little more energized, even playing (sort of) the Jimi Hendrix version of “All Along the Watchtower.”

Still, Bob’s not what he used to be. He’s a living legend, but it’s not like he could write “Like a Rolling Stone” or “The Times are a-Changin'” at age 66.

Instead we need a new generation of musical geniuses to move things forward; guys like Colin Meloy of The Decemberists. Their new album, The Crane Wife, is fucking brilliant.

The Decemberists are so fucking literary they sound like a band fronted by your old college English teacher, but in a good way. Despite the focus on words and lyrics (like Dylan) the band is about much more than that. They actually have great tunes! Their sound has been described as progressive-folk rock. They’ve clearly listened to a few Pink Floyd albums, but also a lot of Dylan.

Like Dylan, Colin Meloy has a…. uh.. “unique” voice. It takes some getting used to, but he can sing and hit the notes, just like Dylan used to be able to. Colin’s timbre is reedy and somewhat nasally, but he sings with more melody than dear old Bob.

If you’re a little disappointed with 7th decade Dylan, check out a band in its prime: The Decemberists.

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music goes ’round, money goes down

Filed Under : Darkfold, inflation, metal, money, music, oligarchy, rant, rock, scam by vemrion
Jun.27,2007

I’ve been thinking about music a lot lately. Okay, I always do that, since I’m obsessed with music, but you wouldn’t know it from this blog. I don’t know why, but I don’t usually like to write about music (it’s like “dancing about architecture” or so says Frank Zappa).

There’s an article over on Slashdot that got me thinking. It’s about the decline of the CD as a medium. Yeah, an article on that subject comes out every couple weeks, but I didn’t even read it. More important, I thought, was the ensuing discussion. It seems everybody has a different take on the state of the music industry. For me, no, CDs are not dead. I prefer my music uncompressed and pre-backed-up before I put it on my iPod. Plus, if you count CD-Rs, CDs are more popular than ever. I burn CDs all the time, whether its a copy of a CD a friend gave me or mixes from my band’s recording sessions.

Band Update – finally
Speaking of the band, I know I haven’t posted about us in awhile, probably because I didn’t want to jinx anything. People have been asking me when our album’s coming out for years and I keep telling them, “pretty soon. It’s right around the corner!” For the last few months I’ve been saying, “in a few months!” Well, it’s been a few months and it’s not out yet, but not for lack of effort. To be honest, we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing, but whatever we’re doing is shaping up pretty nice. We’ve got about 7 songs pretty much in the can — which is to say 90% or more recorded. They all need some mixing, but we’re going to try to bust out 2 more tracks before mixing begins in earnest. The songs are heavy but not punishing. They are melodic, but not sappy. They are all fairly unique but I think they will sound pretty cohesive together on an album (except for maybe one oddball).

We’ve learned so much about recording over the last 7 months, I don’t know where to begin. But we’ve also had some setbacks. I’m not blaming anybody (*coughMattcough*), but my Digi 001 suddenly went from an 8 track recorder to 6 tracks. Not good. But we’ll pull through. We’re recording all of the instruments separately for maximum flexibility (and it just sounds better in my opinion), so this shouldn’t cause too many problems. After all of the overdubs are added on we typically end up with over 20 tracks anyway, now we’re just limited to recording 6 tracks at a time.

So anyway, the band: I haven’t even told you the name yet. We’re Darkfold. We’re on UnderUtopia Records, which is our own independent net-based label and our album is yet to be named. Darkfold consists of me, Matthew R. Coon (esquire) and Andy Riedinger (esquilax). We trade off instruments. Matt does much of our singing, but I do a bunch, too. We play heavy rock music, at least that’s what we’re focusing on at the moment. The second album could be totally different; who knows?

Anyway, I’ll try to keep y’all better informed as the album nears completion. We hope to start gigging soon, but we want to get this album done before Armageddon (which could be any day now… in fact… we’d better hurry!). This making an album thing is fucking difficult, especially with 3 fulltime jobs between us. Of course, it would be impossible without money coming in. I really respect anybody who can start a band, even a shitty one, because there’s so much that goes into making it work.

Music, Money & Class
I’ve been thinking about music and money — more specifically, music and class. A question to ponder: How much music is the world being robbed of because the would-be musicians are too poor to start a band? I mean, becoming a professional musician is basically like taking a vow of poverty to begin with (unless your name is “Paul McCartney”), but you have to have a certain level of wealth before you can even take that plunge. Buying guitars, drums, amps and assorted gear is expensive. So is buying recording equipment and practice space and a van for touring. Then, after doing that you need to find time to practice — but how can you do that if you’re working all the time to afford food, clothing and shelter, let alone the aforementioned gear/space?

So needless to say, I’m kinda shocked anybody can afford to start a rock band these days. That’s why I wasn’t too surprised to find out that many successful rock musicians were wealthy before they hit the top of the charts. Bright Eyes’ Conor Oberst, for instance, had rich parents to help him out when he was just getting started:

Conor: Dark? Not really. Actually I had a great childhood. My parents were wonderful. I went to a Catholic school. They have, I had money, so it was all easy. I basically had everything that I wanted anytime

Gee, wouldn’t that be nice. If my parents were bankrolling my musical endeavors I think we would’ve released 5 albums by now. Curse my middle-class upbringing! (j/k) It seems like every other star is the child of someone famous, from Norah Jones to Jakob Dylan. Rock and roll music was sparked by working class kids like the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, and Elvis. Would those same kids have a chance in today’s cut-throat economy with all its barriers to entry?

America’s Famous Poverty Machine
So my question is: Do you have to be upper-class or at least well-off to have a good chance of making it in music these days? Do the rich people in America make the rules? Music has evolved and the bar for “good” music has been raised and if you don’t want to sign your soul away to a near-extinct dinosaur of a record label what choice do you have?

Personally, I get the feeling that we’re being fucked. The economy seems to be devised to deprive of us our hard-earned money. After inflation, college loans, housing bubbles, gas prices and the fucked up healthcare system, most people are barely scraping by. I have several friends who are still living with their parents because moving out just doesn’t make economic sense. Rent is sky-high and wages are down (even as productivity is up!). Most of my other friends have massive debt (myself included) and no easy way out.

This is the richest, most prosperous nation on earth?! Bullshit. We are being fucked by the rich. The fascist/capitalist oligarchy that controls our government is all about extracting ever more money from the poor and the middle class, not because the rich need another yacht (they don’t) but because the whole system is set up this way. It all needs to come crashing down. And at the rate the dollar is falling, it might just do exactly that. And we’ll have Bush to blame. The “legacy” they keep talking about will be one of fascism, terrorism, poverty and incompetence.

Music and class is not something most people like to talk about. It’s fair to ask, “does it matter? If the music is good, so what?” I would argue that it does matter, and we miss their unique perspectives. If you need a lot of equipment or players (like rock
and classical, respectively) the poor simply can’t play that game. And music education is already cut to the bone in inner city schools.

We’d be condemned to hearing only music created by the offspring of rich people if it wasn’t for hip-hop. Hip-hop, thankfully, can be made on the cheap if you know your way around the software (and if you have a computer) or mixer. But not everybody wants to be (or can be) a rapper. And what is the manifest goal of almost every single rapper on the radio — that’s right; getting filthy rich. (not every rapper is like that)

I don’t wanna be rich; I just want to make some music. I would love to do it for a living, but that just doesn’t seem possible these days. Signing a record contract is a great way to feel rich for a couple years before you discover the terms of the contract have impoverished you and stolen the most valuable thing you have — the copyright to your own songs. So we’re going the indie route, even if it kills us (and it might). In the meantime, I urge you to give some thought to the idea that lower and middle class folks are being shut out of the music game. Just like the other games.

I should make it clear that the most valuable commodity the rich have is time; specifically the time that comes from not having to work.

If only rich people are able to make popular, radio-friendly music we’d lose about 90% of all potential music, and we’d be subjected to endless songs about Jacuzzis, Mercedes Benz’s and Courvoisier. Thankfully, there are a lot bands out there struggling against impossible odds and making songs about real shit, like trying to pay the rent, finding their way in the world and dealing with relationships. Shit, music used to be the province of poor folks — look at all those old blues albums. Leadbelly was poor as piss, but now people think there’s a lot of money in the music game so the rich’s kids have invaded… and conquered.

Shit, the music business ain’t even worth that much, monetarily. But its cultural and entertainment value is immense! I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m whining, but I certainly have a new respect for musicians of modest means who have managed to carve out a good living for themselves without signing to a major label. I just don’t know who those bands are… –

Oh yeah — The Goodyear Pimps!

And WookieFoot! Represent, bliss junkies!

Do you know any others? Give me a shout-out!

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AWOI – Absent without internet (reasons why Comcast sucks ass)

Filed Under : capitalism, internet, lying, money, rant, scam, stupidity by vemrion
Apr.9,2007

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I’ve been working on a big post, but I’ve also been stranded without an internet connection at home. I canceled Comcast since it turns out they are a bunch of lying, thieving bastards. While I’m waiting for my DSL modem to arrive I’m experiencing life without a constant internet connection. It’s scary and lonely. I don’t recommend it.

As far as my dear, departed cable modem goes, please allow me to bitch (god i love having a blog). FUCK COMCAST!!!

Why does Comcast suck? Oh, I’m glad you asked; let me explain. Long ago, in a time known as 2005, things were good. I had a fast internet connection through Time-Warner. It was about 6 Mbps and it set me back about 43 bucks a month.

Then, I get a letter informing me that Comcast swapped all of Time-Warner’s Minnesota subscribers (like me) and that I would now be a Comcast customer. Okay, this is where the creepy, ominous music kicks in.

The letter makes clear that there will be no price adjustments. In fact the FAQ is still online, which says exactly:

Will my monthly fee change with Comcast High-Speed Internet?
Price adjustments will not be required because of this change. All prices reflect the increased value of our service, new product enhancements, and investments to continually improve the quality of our network and customer service. Any price adjustments going forward will be planned and communicated to customers well in advance of any change.

You can see where this is headed, can’t you?

“Price adjustments will not be required” — weasel words, if I’ve ever read them. Fucking liars. Despite the promises, both of stable prices and advanced notice, it turns out that Comcast is run by a bunch of lying, thieving scumbags who exist only to squeeze every last dime out of their unwilling customer base in order to fatten their own undeserved bonuses at the end of the year — you know the bonuses, I’m talking about. They’re 10 times the size of their average employee’s yearly salary.

I must say that every Comcast employee I dealt with — 3 customer service reps and a technician who picked up my modem — were great. Fine folks, didn’t lie to me any more, and were very apologetic. But the fact remains that they work for fascist goons who are planning to rape, pillage and plunder this fresh, unearned subscriber base in an apparent effort to show just how stupid and short-sighted management teams can be. They’re going for the gold medal in poor decision-making skills. Bravo.

So, do I even have to tell you what happened? Isn’t it obvious from my venom? Well, I’ll tell you anyway. Comcast sent me a notice, dated December 26th (yes, the day after Christmas — “Happy holidays from Comcast! Fuck you!”) informing me that my rates were going up to 60 bucks a month — plus modem rental (3 bucks a month), starting…. February 1st! Yay!

So the lying fuckers tried to squeeze me for 20 bucks more a month and gave me only a month notice. This left me no choice. I wasn’t going to stand for this shit. 20 bucks isn’t much, but 20 bucks every month adds up to quite a lot. It’s almost $250 more per year. I am not that rich, Comcast. But idiotic, greedy ploys like this explain how they can afford to pay their CEO 27.8 million dollars a year. I guess I know where my $250 would’ve went.

And so, instead of sending them a check for 40-some bucks a month they managed to convince me to send them a whole lot of nothing every month. Congrats, Comcast. Your short-sighted greed and stupidity has only managed to cost you subscribers like me. Fucking morons.

Instead of collecting money from people like me, Comcast managed to piss away subscribers like a drunk after a night of drinking cheap domestic beer. Instead of getting my money every month they’ve assured Qwest of my business instead. Bravo, fuckheads!

Check out MNspeak for an awesome thread full of pissed off former subscribers. Comcast’s goose-stepping management team deserves an award for monumental stupidity. It’s hard to motivate internet-addicted people like me to do without and overcome the inertia required to make the switch. But Comcast managed to fill me with so much revulsion that Qwest could implement a policy of jabbing me with sharp objects and I would still be happier with them.

Fuck off, Comcast. Take your golden parachutes and cram them up your ass.

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I Hate Valentine’s Day (a violent plan for retribution)

Filed Under : capitalism, funny, holiday, money, rant, scam by vemrion
Feb.14,2007

Did I mention I fucking hate Valentine’s Day? It fucking sucks. I didn’t set out to be a wet blanket for those of you who enjoy this crappy Hallmark Holiday (e.g. those of you with significant others), but I don’t give a flying fuck, and you’re too wrapped into each other to notice anyway.

It always starts the same. You meet a girl/guy, who’s like “oh I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s totally lame and wasteful.” Next thing you know you’re spending hundreds of dollars on your VD gifts to each other. Each of you feels a need to both give and receive gifts because everyone else is doing it. You don’t want your partner to feel unloved and left out do you? Corporate America has made it quite clear that you are a bad person if you don’t spend half your paycheck on flowers, chocolates, romantic dinners, and more.

No matter how anti-VD you start out, once you’ve been in a relationship awhile you start to break down. You feel neglectful if you don’t get your sweetie something on February 14th (because lord knows there’s something soooo different about February 14th. All those other days are for neglecting your lover). Even if you hate the holiday as I do you find yourself cheating a little with flowers or maybe a little something extra.

Because of all the pressure on couples it becomes exceedingly obvious who has a significant other (SO) and who does not. Thus, the real purpose of VD is revealed: Shaming those who don’t have SOs. It’s pretty obvious who is who. The person without an SO is writing angry, anti-Valentine’s Day screeds on his blog while those in a relationship are dipping into their kids’ college funds to pay for increasingly elaborate and expensive gifts (gotta top last year!) in order to convince both your SO and yourself that you still love her/him.

Normally, I don’t encourage people to burn down flower shops (make sure your firebombs are wrapped in pink packaging), hunt down and eviscerate candy-company executives (despite their hard exterior they’re gooey on the inside), or use VD cards to give Hallmark employees a million little papercuts (bind them with caramel so they can’t move), but because Feb. 14th is apparently so different (it’s the day you actually love loved ones!!!!!11!1), I’m going to make an exception.

I’m working on some candy-themed weaponry for next year, including a railgun that shoots Smarties and a rose-thorn chainsaw that is more fantastically bloody and painful than effective at sawing through limbs. The R&D budget is quite high because of all the money I’ve saved from not having a girlfriend. This means the Napalm-based chocolate hearts are right on schedule (Agent Orange version coming soon). I’m still working on the engagement rings made out of depleted uranium, but the VX-based chocolates are deliciously deadly. I suggest getting the sampler pack.

You can’t say I don’t get into the spirit of the holiday. Besides, as Nazareth taught us, Love Hurts. Of course, in this case it also causes 3rd degree burns, internal hemorrhaging, vaporized limbs, blindness, cancer, liquified flesh, post-traumatic stress disorder and some zombie-ism.

But it comes with free gift wrapping!

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Income Inequality in America: Where’s my Check for Inflation?

Filed Under : America, capitalism, conspiracy, corporatism, elite, fascism, Federal Reserve, fraud, inflation, money, oligarchy, poverty, rant, Shadow Government by vemrion
Jan.12,2007

There’s a discussion over at Slashdot concerning the income disparity we face today. I expect it to be modded into oblivion by fascists, capitalists and morons, so I’m reposting it here:

So, who got a check from the government last year to make up for all the money you lost to inflation? Anyone?

Whenever topics like this come up all the libertarians, fascist/corporatists and foaming-at-the-mouth capitalists come out of the woodwork to say that “anybody can make it in America!” even though none of them have been poor, black, suffering from disease and fleeing from hurricanes while still succeeding in business. Hey, I like kool-aid, too, but this is total horseshit. Let me be absolutely clear:

THE RICH “CREATE” POVERTY. Clear enough? Without rich people actively trying to fuck over poor people we wouldn’t have the income disparity that we presently have. To see it in action, all you have to do is look at the Republican party and their collaborators in big business. They try their best to cut taxes for the rich and slash spending on social programs, no matter what the human cost. The Democrats help by increasing federal spending to obscene levels thereby necessitating increased taxation. We get fucked from both ends, like a double-sided dildo.

As amusing as it is to read white-bread, middle-class slashdotters talking about how easy it is for anybody in America to become a captain of industry, I feel compelled to take a shit on your Capitalism Cake. Fascism is alive and well in this country, which should be no surprise to anyone who knows what Fascism is: Corporatism. Basically, it’s the merger of the state and big business. Fascism is the governmental system that is most favorable to business, bar none. Big Business is fascist not because they believe in Hitler’s aryan fantasies but because they stand to gain from a government hopelessly devoted to improving market conditions for greedy multinationals.

The income gap is not a new thing because greed is as old as humanity. There is no such thing as being “rich enough.” There is only MORE. More money, more power, more disparity. And how do you really know that you’re rich unless somebody else is poor? How can you really enjoy being wealthy unless you have servants? The rich mindset is dead set on creating inequity because the rich benefit from it, and like I said, there is no limit to their desires.

This is aided, abetted and made possible by the Federal Reserve System. Each year the Fed increases the money supply, and each year money becomes worth less and less. That’s the problem with fiat currency. Since it’s not backed by gold the dollar bill has no intrinsic worth. It is just paper. Since it’s just paper/electrons it can be created with a flick of the wrist. And so it is. When that money is created, who gets it? You? Does the government/private industry send you a check each year to account for inflation? No, the money is simply stolen from you by those who create it: The bankers. Bankers are the Kings of Capitalism. They are the new aristocracy, the ruling class that maintains control with an iron fist. They control the corporations and our government.

But this system, which appears impossibly strong from the outside, is actually rotting from within. Things are falling apart. If there was a run on the banks our economy would collapse into a pit that would make the Great Depression look like a tea party. That’s because of the deposits vs. cash-on-hand ratio. Banks are able to create money simply by making loans. How? Well, they don’t really have your money in the vault, you know. For each dollar you put in your savings account the bank is able to lend 10 dollars out because bankers have figured out that they only need to keep 10% of their total deposits on hand at any given time. (I’d like to have a 9x or 10x multiplier on my wealth. Maybe I should start a bank and screw you people over! It’s the American way!) The Fed backs them in case of a run, but they don’t have the money either. The money doesn’t exist. It’s imaginary. It’s not backed by anything like gold and it is only accessible during normal business climates. In the event of a nationwide run on all banks the first 10% might get their money out. The other 90% are totally and completely fucked.

Our economy is based on smoke and mirrors. The Federal Reserve is a privately owned corporation that loans our government money at interest, even though the money is completely fake. This is why we have a 9 trillion dollar federal debt (well, that and profligate spending by Congress). It’s a total scam. And most importantly, it’s a system of control, courtesy of the ultra-rich. They know that money is worthless; it’s only a means to an end: Power.

So does income inequality matter? Of course it does. It matters to the rich, who count on poor people for cheap labor (thus, the love affair with illegal immigration — would you rather pay $2.50 an hour for a Mexican gardener, or $10.50 for a citizen gardener?), and it matters to the poor, who can’t afford to go back to school to get more skills and get a better job… working for a rich guy who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, went to Harvard’s kindergarten, etc.

So please, spare me the platitudes about how anybody can make it in America. If you do make it you’ll have to spend the rest of your life looking after your money, investing it properly and being successful at it or inflation will turn your wealth into a big pile of nothing. This should be nothing new to anybody who’s familiar with the ruling class. It’s the same in this country as it was 2,000 years ago during the Roman Empire. One of my favorite scenes from Mel Brook’s History of the World: Part 1 is the one in the Roman Senate:

Leader of Senate: All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?

Entire Senate: FUCK THE POOR!

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I can’t fucking wait until the world ends: We all deserve to die

Filed Under : 9/11, America, CIA, conspiracy, death, elite, evil, false flag, fascism, fraud, middle east, neocons, oligarchy, rant, Shadow Government, terror, torture by vemrion
Dec.15,2006

You’ve heard about global warming, massive ecological damage to the planet, blah blah blah… HURRY UP!!! Where’s the fucking death and destruction I’ve been waiting for? Not here, and that’s the problem.

I don’t think I need to go over the basics of global warming, environmental destruction, nuclear weapons, overpopulation, terrorism, Peak Oil, the neocons being in charge or the end of the Mayan calender in late 2012. You know about that shit, right? We’re living in an apocalyptic age. So here’s my question: Where the fuck is the apocalypse already?!!! I’m getting tired of waiting.

We all know it’s coming. It’s like the crappy twist ending to an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Everybody knows it’s a fucking alien or whatever. But this is like the Shyamalan movie that keeps going on and on and on and on and on and the fucking cheesy twist gimmick hasn’t showed up yet. Hell, you guessed what the twist will be about 3 hours ago, but the movie is stilllll going!! What the FUCK?!! Will the world just end already? Jeeze!

I want to see our wretched over-consuming, ultra-militarized American society collapse under its own weight. I want to see the fat and the weak die in the streets! Where’s the fucking blood, man?! I’m sick of our horrifically obese (physically, financially, politically) nation beating the living shit out of brown people in various parts of the world. When’s our turn?! You know it’s coming. The laws of karma demand it.

We deserve to burn for Iraq. We should all go to hell for letting this bullshit war continue. We deserve to die, like we’ve condemned the Iraqis to die. And the worst part is we continue to LIE to them and tell them we’ve liberated them! Jesus fucking Christ people, at least have the courtesy to tell them the truth while we’re raping their country of it’s precious natural resources! You’re gonna tell me all the goddamn flag-waving hicks who support this war ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK about Iraqis?!!!! I will laugh in your ignorant face, you fucking gullible tool.

Our government is composed of the most evil, wicked and soulless men alive. Our government, along with the military-industrial complex, killed 3,000 people on September 11th, 2001 in order to trick us into going to war. And what has our reaction to this fascist take-over been?

“Ooohh, let’s see if Lost is on! The revolution can wait until after Survivor is over! Oh wait, I just want to read a retarded fashion magazine! I can’t wait until the new Wii is released! I’m a delusional fucking idiot who doesn’t know anything about politics! Let’s just let the country careen into a fucking ditch the size of the Grand Canyon! Who gives a fuck as long as I’ve got my botox, designer jeans, video games, reality TV, SUV, 401k, and a lot of other useless crap that makes me feel good for about 2 seconds so I can forget that my government is a satanic collective of Nazis bent on taking over the world’s resources while simultaneously lowering the world’s population through war, starvation and man-made diseases!”

Fuck all of you selfish fucks! And fuck me too for not having the balls to light myself on fire and run into the capitol building with a bomb strapped to my chest. Fuck all of us. We deserve to die. We are killing the planet with every piece of food we eat (fuck all of you self-righteous vegans for thinking you’re not guilty of the same thing! Plant flesh is just as sacred as animal flesh!). We kill it every time we drive a car, every time we turn on a fucking light, and every time we knock down a tree so we can build a goddamn strip mall with a 27 muthafucking acre parking lot!!!

Humanity is a fucking virus, and we’re killing the host. It’s time to die people.

DIE DIE DIE!!!!

When the next American civil war comes (and it will come — soon), it will be my honor to kill each and every last one of you fucking traitors who supports the war in Iraq and the Bush regime that perpetrated 9/11.

I suppose a lot of you are still in denial about 9/11. Understandable. Not everyone is a structural engineer. But there’s no more excuses. We have the power of the internet and people are still ignorant. I don’t think you need any help from me. Open Google and start researching. It’s only the future of our entire fucking country at stake, so please don’t complain about me calling you a useless traitor piece of shit if you decide to watch The Biggest Loser instead.

To some extent we are all absolved by the fact that this world was totally fucked up long before any of us were born. However, the time of excuses is running out rapidly. With the power of the internet at your fingertips you have NO EXCUSE for being an ignoramus anymore.

Do you think America is “teh koolest-est cuntree evar!!”? Then you are a fucking idiot. America has fallen. America is now the world leader in corruption, evil, terrorism, hatred and intolerance. The CIA is the premier terrorist organization in the world. They fucking own al-Qaeda — literally. The CIA started al-Qaeda during the 80’s to fight against the Soviets in Afghanistan. They are still being funded and controlled by the CIA. So fuck all of you shitheads who tell me I’m not patriotic enough. I love America — the REAL America, not the “Amerika” it has become (rather like evil Superman). We haven’t used the Constitution for anything except for toilet paper in almost 100 years. America is fallen. Amerika is now the Empire from Star Wars, and Dick Cheney is its Emperor.

Amerika is a place where you can get arrested for smoking a joint or wearing a T-shirt that says “Peace” on it, but if you’re the president you can send thousands of troops to die and kill in a foreign land based on lies and distorted intelligence and nobody can do shit about it. And half the people think it’s just fucking great. Amerika committed genocide while it was being born (ask the Native Americans about that one) but then it turns around and claims Saddam is evil for killing his own people… with WMDs that we gave him! (well, “sold to him” — Amerika is all about $$$$$). What the fuck are we supposed to make of this hypocrisy?!

And don’t get me started on all the fucking greedy businessmen who are so obsessed with money that they don’t give a second thought to destroying the environment if it helps the bottom line. The only thought that goes through their fat, ugly heads is: “How can I make sure I don’
t get caught?” Amerika drains the lifeblood from the earth, like a vampire. We are all a party to this wicked devil-dance. If you dance to their tune, you’re just as guilty as they are. Are you willing to bet your soul that George Bush is right? Do really fucking believe he gives a damn about the welfare of everyday Iraqis? Do you really believe businessmen when they say, “trust me, I care deeply about the environment and our workers’ safety and happiness.” Sucker. They don’t give a fuck. It’s all about PR. Just lie to the cameras and everything will be okay.

Politicians on both sides of the aisle lie. That’s all there is to it. Neither side can be trusted. And if there is someone in power who dares to speak the truth he will be ruthlessly co-opted or assassinated, post-haste. We’ve lost 2 Kennedys, MLK, John Lennon and Paul Wellstone to the machinations of the elite. The elite, by the way, are a sick bunch indeed. They are engaged in drug smuggling, terrorism, arms dealing, child abduction and molestation, torture, murder, satan-worship and God knows what else.

I’m not really saying I wish we all die tomorrow. I mostly just wish the global elite would. But since the reverse is more likely to happen, maybe I shouldn’t pin all my hopes on our coming destruction. But it doesn’t really matter what I think, does it? Oil will peak. The economy will crash. The environment will shed its parasites. Our government will collapse (every government eventually does). The only question is when? And what are we going to do about it?

Well, I for one, will be glad. Not because I like not being able to eat, drink, work, drive a car or turn on a light. That part will suck. No, I will enjoy it because there will be so much less ignorance and hubris in the world. I’m so fucking sick of the arrogance and suicidal stupidity of most Amerikans, and pretty much all of western civilization for that matter.

There’s an not-so-old saying the Middle East (ya know, the place we’re presently occupying, destroying, raping and terrorizing) that goes like this:

My father rode a camel. I drive a car. My son flies in a jet plane.

His son will ride a camel.

Ya know, maybe the internet doesn’t make you smart. Those people didn’t need it to come up with that revelation, and here we are in Amerika with a quarter billion morons surfing the web. Maybe we will be smarter once we have nothing. Maybe the world will be a better place once we’re no longer in it.

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This is a good rant

Filed Under : rant by vemrion
Dec.14,2006

I know a good rant, and this is a good rant.

To be fair, I didn’t totally agree with everything (like the “respect has to be earned part”) but it was a good spleen-venting evisceration of stupid and selfish people who act rude because they think that people in the service industry are their servants.

This is an awesome (if incoherent) rant, too. And this one is a hilarious “x-mas letter” to the folks. Ah, there’s nothing better than being forced into prostitution by the continual, humiliating economic grind of life in the city. Unless, of course, that city happens to be Ipswich.

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Blogger Dean Hunt threatened for having too high of a search ranking

Filed Under : internet, lying, rant, scam, stupidity by vemrion
Dec.13,2006

This isn’t a problem at this low-ranked blog, but apparently it is for Dean Hunt, owner of DeanHunt.com and the blog that resides there. He has recently received vaguely threatening letters demanding that he give up his domain because:

You have to understand Dean that an online business should be higher in Google than a blog.

Don’t forget that Google is a business as well, they obviously make more money from other businesses than they do from blogs, so it is in their interest that I am higher than you for certain searches.

I have also contacted my lawyer about this issue, so you should expect a letter in the post very soon.

Let me be the 472nd to say, “AAAAAhahahahahahaaaaaaa!!! Haahahahaa! What a fucking moron!

Yes, Google is a business, but no, they don’t think businesses should be ranked higher than blogs. In fact, I bet they love it when that happens because then the business is compelled to start buying Google AdWords to bump up their ranking (well, really, they’re a “sponsored result” at that point).

This guy (who hasn’t been “outed” yet by Deano) is clearly a bully, and a particularly stupid one at that. Dean intends to stand strong and I support him all the way. People shouldn’t have to fear success on the internet, nor should bloggers be preyed upon by ruthlessly inept businessmen who seem to view the world only in terms of money and power. Fucking moron. I’ve got your back, Dean, and I know a lot of other bloggers do too.

You know, the internet really does have the power to change things for the better. We’re more connected now than ever before, and that gives power to “the little guy” who would’ve been steamrolled as little as 10 years ago. This inevitably must have a profound affect on our society, including the political realm. People are going to start demanding more transparency in government and business, and people are less likely to be cowed by bullying demands from the elite and those who dream of becoming the elite (like this fucktard).

Consequently, there are no more excuses. Is there something you don’t know that you wish you did? Have you encountered a challenge that is beyond your present abilities? Well, it’s time to step up to the plate. You’ve got an incredible resource like at your fingertips if you’re reading this, so don’t let limitations that would’ve previously been crippling get in your way! You now have the power to change your lot in life. Educate yourself. Better yourself. Rally your allies. Stand up to your enemies. Embrace the change that now must come. In previous centuries most of us would be nothing but peasants, living under the rule of some despotic king or lord. With no access to learning, no power to organize resistance or communicate with distant allies there was no way to fight against the yoke of oppression. But now, most of us are “free” and we have been given a great gift — a gift that our ancestors would have died for. The internet is the greatest gift to democracy in 200 years. Use it!

Update: Some folks on slashdot are saying that this is a hoax by Dean Hunt. That’s certainly a possibility. Let’s wait to see for sure that he’s telling the truth, but I think my rosy description of the potential of the internet is still valid. Just gotta remember to check our sources, verify info and don’t forget our assumptions. As for Dean, let’s hope he wouldn’t resort to something like this, but his blog is about SEO, which is about as respectable a profession as prostitution. Perhaps less so.

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Class War with a Pink Gun

Filed Under : America, elite, money, propaganda, rant, religion, sex, TV by vemrion
Jun.9,2006

I happened to read this story about rich girls’ Sweet 16 parties in a month-old copy of Time.

The protagonists’ excesses alone make for lurid, enjoyably outraged viewing. (Surely one celebrant’s decision to dye her poodles pink should have prompted a call to the A.S.P.C.A.) A precocious celebutant makes her entrance via helicopter. A self-proclaimed “divo” (like diva but different) rents out the mall to stage a faux fashion show (prompting a backstage catfight over a limited supply of bustiers). There are hired dancers, a raj-like litter hoisted by hand-picked hotties and an apparent contractual obligation for someone to arrive in a stretch Hummer. I had no idea so many stretch Hummers even existed. No wonder we had to go to war in Iraq.

The series is like an infomercial for class war, and should the revolution come, an episode guide will provide a handy, illustrated list of who should go up against the wall. My Super Sweet 16 had its third-season premiere last week, building up to the broadcast with a drumroll of conspicuous consumption: four two-hour blocks of episodes drawn from the show’s previous seasons. To witness such unself-conscious acquisitiveness in one sitting is like eating an entire normal-kid birthday-party sheet cake, wax decorative candles and all. There’s the same queasy sense of monochromatic excess because all the shows are alike, from the fake panic that the party may not happen to the scary-sexy dry humping on the dance floor. And no matter what the nominal theme of the party–California beach party, Moulin Rouge, the color pink–each guest of honor is really after only one thing. “I feel famous. I love it,” says one. Another: “I definitely felt like I was famous.” Yet one more: “I felt like such a star.” The teenagers take on all the tics of fame, from tiny dogs to referring to oneself in the third person. We are all Paris Hilton now.

Not all of us, Ana. Not all of us by a long shot.

The pure god-awful greed and selfishness of these teens (and their feel-guilty-about-working-too-much parents) is appalling and disgusting.

You know, rich people and Republicans often accuse people of “waging class warfare” if somebody dares to point out how excessive and venal the rich act, especially their children. That’s such a bullshit argument. It’s the rich who are waging class warfare, not the poor. The rich are the ones who create poverty (it’s called “not sharing” to the Nth degree) by exploiting workers, keeping minimum wage low generally structuring society and government so that it enriches themselves instead of everybody else. Those of us who are in the middle class should feel lucky we live in such a great country, I suppose, but it’s really just a comfy version of poverty compared with the awesome wealth of the upper class. I mean, they can buy lear jets. Fucking lear jets, man. That costs more just to maintain in a year than most of us make the whole year.

So if anybody ever accuses you of waging class warfare by pointing out how selfish and nihilistic the rich kids are behaving, tell them to fuck off and get a clue. The rich are the ones who start all of our wars, figurative or otherwise. Not us peasants. We have no power as they like to point out when we try to change things (otherwise, politicians love to assure us that we have the power. Is that why so many of us are working for minimum wage?).

Well fuck Paris Hilton, that shrewish demon slut. We all know how vacuous the rich girls are now. They’ve been spoiled rotten by the money they never earned, so in a way I’m not jealous of them at all. But it would be nice to have a huge stash of resources to fall back on when times got tough. I’d like to have a house by a lake or river or ocean. But if acting like spoiled little shits is the price, I’ll take poverty, thanks. I guess even being rich isn’t free.

MTV is such a filthstream of elitist fascism and meta-satanic imagery that I doubt I could ever watch this show for more than 5 minutes. This is how Satan would raise his daughters; so spoiled you can smell her a million miles away. Obviously, the show is fake and staged, but the bullgod-worshipping creditcard-celebrity is real. Just buy happiness, kids!

My parents used to dislike MTV because it had suggestive videos and weird music. Now I hate MTV because it has corporate fascism, wealth-worshipping depraved materialism and shitty, shitty music, when it has music at all, which is during commercials.

I can only assume that the devil himself is the guy running MTV. It’s that bad. I’d rather watch the pope take a shit for 12 hours than watch a half hour of MTV. I’d watch the pope thing even if it had praying and a toilet-cam. Now that’s fucking gross, right? That’s how bad MTV’s sex-obsessed materialism grosses me out. It actually makes me feel ill. And not Beastie Boys ill; the bad kind.

//||baaarrrfff!!||\
Reasons why I don’t have a TV, number 3143.

I guess you could ask why I get so upset over materialism and flagrant displays of sickening money-flaunting. Honestly, I don’t know. I guess I’m just a spiritual person and so materialism seems like the enemy to me. Especially given my Gnostic outlook.

The weirdist thing to me, though, is the fact that the poor kids will watch these shows religiously. And that’s their fault. If you’re stupid enough to watch eMpTV, then you deserve to feel bad about yourself. Hell, that’s the whole point of MTV.

So why the fuck do they watch it? Cheap thrills, I suppose. Now turn the channel before I vomit.

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A Nation of Criminals. A Government of Kings.

Filed Under : crime, DEA, drugs, fascism, NSA, privacy, rant, Shadow Government, spying, terror by vemrion
May.23,2006

Wired has pried open Door 641A and taken a good long look. Here is a document from whistle-blower Mark Klein (pdf) who previously worked for AT&T as a technician. He fears the secret room was splitting the fiber optic cables carrying our internet data and sending the other half to the NSA for monitoring. He figured the project started with the Total Information Awareness program, which was supposedly defunded. Well, now the NSA is holding our electronic leash. Boy, they sure do wish to control us, don’t they? What’s with the desperation on their part? The whole government spying deal was supposed to be a conspiracy theory…. one that just about everyone believed. Well, now it’s true and it has been revealed as such and it’s staring us right in the face.

What are we gonna do about it?

What could they possibly want such an enormous information-burden for? There’s no need to spy on ALL of us! The government already knows what risk factors to look for when it comes to identifying terrorists, criminals, revolutionaries, you name it. Why would they decide to cast the net so far and wide unless their goal was to criminalize all of us?

Do you know the best way to get a person to act like a criminal?

Treat them like one.

… That’s my suspicion anyway. You know, a firefighter only has a job when fires are burning. In the same way, a cop only has a job if there’s crime and a warrior only has a job if there’s a war on. Are you pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down?

It wouldn’t be the first time; politicians are known to create problems so they have something to solve… after the election… assuming they are elected. And if they aren’t, why solve it? Why not create problems for your opponent? Then he does the same thing for you. Pretty soon, while you’re squabbling like dogs, the public is drowning in a sea of problems that you were supposed to solve, not create!

That’s how we get the super-bad problems like the War on Drugs problem. The problem of the fact that demagogues and idiots made a war on drug-users, is far worse than the problem of simple drug use and abuse. The War on Terror is similar in that it will never end, it is not intended to end, and even though war has been declared on an object (drugs) or tactic (terrorism), the things that suffer most in the war are people — mostly innocent bystanders in a war between shadowy groups who both fight and support each other. The collateral damage is mostly the result of people getting caught in the middle of those two groups (the government and the criminals) and paying the ultimate price in a war that did not need to be fought.

We are ruled by a political class that rule us as if they were kings, walking amongst the mere mortal peasants. They are sheltered from the world’s injustices and deprivations. They are inducted into a society of the well-to-do because there is no other social class for which they are fit. They have never really grown up, and so we peasants must suffer through the elite’s tiresome games, such as the war on drugs and the supposed war on terror, which seem to be much more of a war on the people. Another thing both of these demagogic wars have in common is that they are designed to erode our freedoms and our privacy by justifying it with the old saw, “need the tools to catch the bad guys.” Cops and Robbers for adults. Innocents are arrested so that the cops can have their fun. Meanwhile the criminals get away with it. The justice system spits them back out on the streets. After all, we’d have to lay off cops if there was no crime. The cycle goes on endlessly. Meanwhile, the rest of us are caught in the middle of this evil maelstrom, rocked about on waves of uncertainty and strife.

They’re building a system of control, people! Wake up before it’s too late!! They want to include all of us in their little game! Run and hide if you want, but they can still catch you; they have the technology. Fiber optic splitters to steal our communications, and televisions to assure us that it’s alright, no need to worry….

[szghk]

bszzzzzzshshh! |/<>\| [crackle]

[wavy lines]…. you are feeling…. sleepy. Content. Open. Let us in…..

 Things are fine. We’re here to protect you… from the terrorists. The terrorists hate your freedom. They’re coming for you; only we can protect you from an enemy that exists all around you. Any one of your neighbors could be a spy or a terrorist or a commie, or even Irish. Be sure to turn them in at your local FBI office.

We’re listening anyway, so you might as well.

Coming up next, a pitbull dances with a lobster and a hyena! Wait ’til you see this!. ., After these messages.–

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DEATH! Death, everywhere I look!!

Filed Under : death, MSM, rant, religion by vemrion
Apr.7,2005

It’s been an interesting week. My car broke down a week ago today.

It died while going down 494, towards St. Paul. I had it towed to the shop, even though I knew it was dead. My parents were there to give me a ride back to my apartment, kind souls that they are. I stuck the keys in the envelope and dropped it in the late-night mail slot. As I hop in the folks’ car my mom points out that the hazard lights on. D’oh! I forgot to turn them off!

So I knew the battery would be dead in the morning. I figured that would be fine since the car was dead anyway. I got the call the next morning, and waited for the news. Instead the repair guy had called to let me know that my driver’s side window had been smashed! Someone had done it during the night, apparently. The weird thing is, they didn’t steal my stereo or my sunglasses! I guess they just wanted to turn those damn hazard lights off.

Weird.

Anyway, they called later to announce that my 1988 Chevy Corsica was well and truly dead. The engine had finally crapped out.

That set off a chain of events that can only be described as “inevitable” and “stressful.” But I think the most common summary of the last week is that “it’s about damn time Tim got a new car.” Yes, that old car needed to die…

… Like Terri Schiavo.

OH! Damn! SNAP!!! I just riffed on a dead girl’s corpse! Bam!

Sorry, was that in poor taste? I have this condition where I can’t work up any energy to defend stupid societal herd-trips. It’s called: Not Caring.

It’s not that I don’t care about Terri, but I don’t care for the way we’re being manipulated. The media totally creamed their pants over this story, and I think it’s disgusting. They just used the sorry tale for their own ratings; these people don’t give a fuck about Terri Schiavo… but they know that viewers will tune in. Shit, I don’t even have a TV and I could tell we were being buried under a gigantic, stinking pile of media bullshit. I think the whole affair paints our dear mainstream media as a crew of sneaking whores, doing only what they know will titillate.

In school we’re ostensibly taught to think critically. Good thing, too, because once you get out of school, that’s the last time you’ll get to practice those skills. The Mainstream Media (MSM) encourages you to join the herd. Join the “main stream” — get out of those loony tributaries. And you certainly need to stay away from that Underground Stream. If we are the bovine herd down below, then the Media fancies itself the cowboy with a bullhorn on the ridge above. Maybe that’s why we have a cowboy for a president… of course, Bush is as much a “cowboy” as Ronald Reagan — he plays one on TV.

I find it endlessly hilarious how this blew up in the face of all the political hacks who tried to make a mint’s worth of political capital from this affair. The polls have resoundingly showed a public willing to let the feeding tubes be yanked. And so they have been. Toss a drink back for Terri Marie Schiavo, but don’t forget that she died on Feb. 25th, 1990. Whether her soul was present in the body seems to be immaterial – it had no communicative capability because of the brain damage. What freaks me out is the idea of being trapped in a body, unable to free your self (you know — your true self) from your broken body and brain. That would be worse than any prison. Hopefully that doesn’t happen and it’s more like sleeping, or you get to leave or whatever. Those are the questions I want answers to: the things that she – her soul — experienced. But that’s not what the media focused on. In their typical soulless way, they focused on the death of the body. “Oh my god! They’re killing this woman!” people screamed. If somebody had a more thoughtful take on the matter that person had a very slim chance of getting on the air. The MSM is a cesspool of fear, hatred, lingering anger, stress and stupidity… with a little depravity and slander thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, I just wanted to spew that little rant about the media’s obsessive coverage of certain events designed to get us to react emotionally and stop thinking rationally. That brings us to the third and final death of this death-filled post. Like my broken down car and Terri Schiavo, the Pope’s death was a long time coming. And once again the media has completely freaked out about the event, and is treating it like the biggest Deal EVER!

Come on people, it’s not like we didn’t see this coming. The pope’s been in so many celebrity deathpools that he’s been disqualified from most. He hasn’t been a spring chicken for quite some time. Also, most of his views/policies have been deceased in most parts of the world for decades or even centuries.

I guess I don’t care too much about the obsessive coverage of the Catholic Church because it shows just how batty many of their beliefs are. If you’re a Catholic, you’re expected to believe this shit. They used to tap the dead pope on the head with a silver hammer three times and ask, “Karol, are you dead?” each time. What’s he gonna say, “Yes”?

People are entitled to their beliefs, at least in this country…. at least for now. But I’m also entitled to mine, and I think Catholics, and religious people in general are crazy.

I suppose it’s safer in the herd. But herds of cattle are shepherded by predators — cowboys, of course! People don’t think cowboys are benevolent vegetarians, do they? Cowboys are interested in cattle-safety only because they plan to eat or sell the cow later. Why would you place your future and your life in the hands of predator if you didn’t have to?

I don’t think I should even have to justify my beliefs. It’s pretty common understanding amongst cognizant adults and even children, that religion is just a funky relic of our confused and bloody past. Many of the people who realize this still attend church, if only just for the community, or the stories, or even for the donuts. But does church really work any more? Does it deliver a religious experience, or is it just a part of the marketplace, fulfilling a need with drive-thru service? (I’ve got an idea for drive-thru confessions) I think religious folk are having a harder and harder time justifying their own beliefs, even when they aren’t being overtly challenged. The religious loons will invent a challenge, and then scream and wail like they’re being horribly persecuted.

The challenge, of course, is from the depths of their own mind. Some logical part of their brain is still calling out, even after being twisted and marginalized. They know somewhere deep down inside that their views are wrong. Sure, all religions are founded on true events and true people (except for Scientology – ooh!! SNAP!), and yes, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. But most events are so far in the past that we no longer have any meaningful frame of reference. We simply cannot know exactly what happened back then/there, and the archeological data we have is fragmentary at best.

Not that it’s not worth searching…. In fact, I believe that searching is the most important thing. It keeps your brain limber and on its toes. The problem with religion is this: The priests and evangelists offer easy answers. They give you an answer to some cosmic question and say, “It’s right here in this book.” Oh, and let’s not forget that the answer has been pre-interpreted for you. The implication is that you’re not smart enough to interpret it for yourself. There are many different interpretations to basically every single passage in the Bible. This seems straightforward, right? So why do we have a group of “Biblical-Literalists” living on this planet with us?

Honest question: How the fuck do you interpret the Bible literally? That’s just stupid! There IS no literal interpretation, because we can’t even agree on what it says! There’s many parts of the Bible that have been incorrectly translated, or are actively disputed by biblical scholars. If we don’t even know exactly what the Bible says, how the hell are we supposed to figure out what it means, literally? And why would we want to do that in the first place? Jesus talked in parables. I thought these people were supposed to be paying attention to the teachings of Christ. Yet, here we have a group of people who have deigned to give us the One True Interpretation. (Whenever you hear somebody make that claim, run. Get out of there as fast as possible. I’m serious. People who believe that are unstable and dangerous. Most of the blood spilled throughout history has been caused by people who thought they were right, and everyone one else was wrong. The followers of such people are generally ignorant, but they will gladly kill if their leader says it was ordained by God. ) These people don’t know Christ. If they did they wouldn’t go around bragging about it all the time. In my experience boasters are usually covering up some inadequacy. In this case, their fanatic zeal for evangelism and their fantasies of persecution are necessary to convince themselves that they are right.

This world can be really messed up sometimes. I think we’ve got a long way to go until we really understand life. The first thing we have to do is accept death. They are a package deal, it seems.

Just imagine if nothing died, and we would be surrounded by the hollow husks of men & beasts, still alive, but useless — and in agony. We should thank flies and worms for eating the flesh of the dead. It’s disgusting and freaky, but it is necessary to clear the way for more life.

I don’t think most people really understand the cycle of life. Most people fear death. Even the religious folk who tend to brag about how tight they are with God. Death is natural, and it can be merciful, as it was for all three of my examples: my car, Terri Schiavo, and the Pope John Paul II.

To complete the cycle, let me say a bit more about my car: I immediately started the mighty search, gearing up for the long haul if necessary. Luckily, I had put out word long before that I was in the need of some new wheels. I got hooked up with a couple of great leads by my Uncle Piper. I checked the second one out after visiting a couple local dealerships. That led to a trip down to Montgomery to test drive the car. It seemed like a great deal, so I went for it and spared myself a long search and huge car loan. I’m now the owner of a 1999 Saturn SL2.

I guess everything worked out. The cycle of life (and cars) continues.

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Oh man, this blog has had less activity than Terri Schiavo's frontal lobe!

Filed Under : funny, MSM, rant, scandal by vemrion
Mar.27,2005

Oh, sorry. That was cold. But is anybody else here sick to death of the whole Schiavo bruhaha? Talk about over exposed.

A kid here in Minnesota shoots up his school, killing 10, and the media hardly blinks. Dear Leader didn’t mention that for days, but he flew back from his perma-vacation in Crawford to sign a bill pissing on federalism in order to score some political points from Terri’s parents’ suffering. Good job, Georgie! We now know that you’re a complete tool! Oh wait, we already knew that. Well, still, it’s good to know that a vegetative white woman rates above 10 dead Native Americans in his book.

Let’s face facts: Terri Schiavo has been dead for 15 years, her body just hasn’t gotten the memo. I think her quality of life has diminished severely, unless her old hobbies included drooling and bed sores. I guess it’s possible that the fiendish doctors have been lying and she’s actually dancing the Watusi every night, but I just don’t see what they’d have to gain. You’d think they’d want to keep her alive as long as possible. Talk about the ideal patient – she hasn’t complained about anything yet!

You’d think there would be a better way to let her go to “the clearing at the end of the path” than starvation, though. I think a lethal injection would be more humane, but then again she’s a fucking vegetable and wouldn’t know the difference if we decided to kill her with a spoon. I guess the starvation thing gives her one more chance to prove she’s conscious. If they find her over by the vending machine, trying to get some Fritos, then we’ll know we shouldn’t’ve pulled the plug.

Make no mistake – her husband, Michael, sounds like an asshole. Not exactly Prince Charming, but he’s probably right about her not wanting to “live” like this. And her parents seem really desperate and sad. They’ve had 15 years to come to grips with this and they still haven’t accepted it. Come on, people. Doctors aren’t perfect and they’re often wrong, but if she was gonna recover, she should’ve done so by now. Just think – if she woke up, she’d think it was 1992 or something. She died a beautiful woman and now she’s an old shell of herself. If she woke up she’d probably try to kill herself! Wouldn’t that be ironic.

It seems strange to me that the Republicans can’t seem to realize that she’s been dead for 15 years. I guess they looked at her vacant stare and her rigid posture and assumed that she was one of them. Much of the Republican party seems to be the walking dead. They’re so much like zombies it’s frightening. They don’t think – they just react – to perceived threats, which is basically anything and everything. They’re so afraid of everything. How come all these old & religious people are so afraid of dying? You’d think people like the Pope would be in a hurry to go and be with God, But you’d be wrong….they know that they’ve spit on God throughout their lives. They know that they haven’t really loved all of God’s children (which includes me and other people who dare to thumb their noses at the Republican agenda). They know that they’ve exploited God to make themselves more powerful.

Not that the Democrats are any better. They’ve resorted to their old ways with this Schiavo case. They see that the Republicans are keyed up about something and they immediately make themselves scarce. They voted for the Schiavo bill, just like they voted for the Iraq War. They didn’t agree with it. but they’re so fucking scared of the political consequences that they ran away and licked their pussies. Not exactly inspiring; I’m glad I’m not a Democrat or I’d run away too – out of shame.

The Democrats are so pathetic and weak that they remind me of Ross Perot’s old runningmate, Admiral Stockdale. Remember that dude? He was so confused and befuddled that you had to wonder if he’d just recently awoken from a coma. The Democrats are now stealing all his best lines: “Where am I? What am I doing here? Where are my pants?”

The Republicans stole the Democrats’ pants long ago and the Democrats are too weak to ask for them back. The de-pantsing of the Democrats would be funnier if they weren’t our sole opposition party. If the Democrats die because of their weakness?…. Oh well. Out with the old and in with the new. That’s the way of life. It ends….and springs up somewhere else. Don’t worry about Terri – her soul is indestructable. I’d be more worried about the neocons running lose in American government. More on that next time.

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