Electric Monkey Pants

Oh, sorry. That was cold. But is anybody else here sick to death of the whole Schiavo bruhaha? Talk about over exposed.

A kid here in Minnesota shoots up his school, killing 10, and the media hardly blinks. Dear Leader didn’t mention that for days, but he flew back from his perma-vacation in Crawford to sign a bill pissing on federalism in order to score some political points from Terri’s parents’ suffering. Good job, Georgie! We now know that you’re a complete tool! Oh wait, we already knew that. Well, still, it’s good to know that a vegetative white woman rates above 10 dead Native Americans in his book.

Let’s face facts: Terri Schiavo has been dead for 15 years, her body just hasn’t gotten the memo. I think her quality of life has diminished severely, unless her old hobbies included drooling and bed sores. I guess it’s possible that the fiendish doctors have been lying and she’s actually dancing the Watusi every night, but I just don’t see what they’d have to gain. You’d think they’d want to keep her alive as long as possible. Talk about the ideal patient – she hasn’t complained about anything yet!

You’d think there would be a better way to let her go to “the clearing at the end of the path” than starvation, though. I think a lethal injection would be more humane, but then again she’s a fucking vegetable and wouldn’t know the difference if we decided to kill her with a spoon. I guess the starvation thing gives her one more chance to prove she’s conscious. If they find her over by the vending machine, trying to get some Fritos, then we’ll know we shouldn’t’ve pulled the plug.

Make no mistake – her husband, Michael, sounds like an asshole. Not exactly Prince Charming, but he’s probably right about her not wanting to “live” like this. And her parents seem really desperate and sad. They’ve had 15 years to come to grips with this and they still haven’t accepted it. Come on, people. Doctors aren’t perfect and they’re often wrong, but if she was gonna recover, she should’ve done so by now. Just think – if she woke up, she’d think it was 1992 or something. She died a beautiful woman and now she’s an old shell of herself. If she woke up she’d probably try to kill herself! Wouldn’t that be ironic.

It seems strange to me that the Republicans can’t seem to realize that she’s been dead for 15 years. I guess they looked at her vacant stare and her rigid posture and assumed that she was one of them. Much of the Republican party seems to be the walking dead. They’re so much like zombies it’s frightening. They don’t think – they just react – to perceived threats, which is basically anything and everything. They’re so afraid of everything. How come all these old & religious people are so afraid of dying? You’d think people like the Pope would be in a hurry to go and be with God, But you’d be wrong….they know that they’ve spit on God throughout their lives. They know that they haven’t really loved all of God’s children (which includes me and other people who dare to thumb their noses at the Republican agenda). They know that they’ve exploited God to make themselves more powerful.

Not that the Democrats are any better. They’ve resorted to their old ways with this Schiavo case. They see that the Republicans are keyed up about something and they immediately make themselves scarce. They voted for the Schiavo bill, just like they voted for the Iraq War. They didn’t agree with it. but they’re so fucking scared of the political consequences that they ran away and licked their pussies. Not exactly inspiring; I’m glad I’m not a Democrat or I’d run away too – out of shame.

The Democrats are so pathetic and weak that they remind me of Ross Perot’s old runningmate, Admiral Stockdale. Remember that dude? He was so confused and befuddled that you had to wonder if he’d just recently awoken from a coma. The Democrats are now stealing all his best lines: “Where am I? What am I doing here? Where are my pants?”

The Republicans stole the Democrats’ pants long ago and the Democrats are too weak to ask for them back. The de-pantsing of the Democrats would be funnier if they weren’t our sole opposition party. If the Democrats die because of their weakness?…. Oh well. Out with the old and in with the new. That’s the way of life. It ends….and springs up somewhere else. Don’t worry about Terri – her soul is indestructable. I’d be more worried about the neocons running lose in American government. More on that next time.