Express your love for Jesus by buying shit at Walmart! It’s capitalism-mass!
Don’t forget to worship Satan’s Claws, er, … I mean “Santa Claus”, the pagan god of materialism! He gives big, expensive gifts to the rich kids and tiny, crappy gifts to the poor kids… ’cause he’s, like, holy or something. Yay! This holiday makes total sense! Nothing strange or satanic about it!